Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Ballet Slippers

Throughout most of my life, I have had a reoccuring dream. I had the dream for the first time as a young child and it seems to creep up every few years or so. I dream that I am walking on a dirt road, and I come across a beautiful and magnificent, two story house. The house has many windows and a porch that surrounds the house on all sides. I walk into the house, which is decorated very homey, and begin to climb the winding staircase that is located in the center of the house. I then enter a room, that appears to belong to a young child. In the room, there is a set of wooden bunk beds. At the bottom of the front side of the bunk beds there is a long wooden drawer. I sit on the floor in front of the bunk beds and begin to remove my shoes. That is when I notice that I am wearing dirty old tennie shoes. They are tattered and torn and look as though I have been walking many miles in them. I remove my shoes and lay them off to the side. I then begin to slowly open the long wooden drawer. Inside the drawer, is a pair of pale pink ballet slippers, that are sitting next to a perfectly folded, very small ballet dress. I take out the ballet slippers and hold them delicately in my hands. Then...I awaken. Dreams can be surprising, revealing, scarey and confusing at times. I've always wondered what makes you dream the things you do. Is it just your conscious, at times, playing tricks or is it God speaking to you in some sort of riddle? I know that God speaks to many of us through our dreams. God spoke to Jacob in a dream and promised him a blessed future for him and all of his offspring. God spoke to Joseph in a dream and told him his wife would bare the Son of Man whom he was to call Jesus. God has even given some the ability to interpret dreams. God gave the ability to Daniel to understand all kinds of dreams. (Daniel 1:17) He also gave the gift to Joseph who interpreted the dreams of the king. But, what about our dreams? What do they mean and should we take them seriously. A few years ago, one of my sisters called me up and shared a dream with me. She said she was walking along an old country road, and there was a cow grazing on the side of it. As she went to walk passed the cow, it picked it's head up and began to speak to her. She went on and on about what the cow had told her. After she was finished telling me her dream, we laughed together and I suggested that she seek some therapy. Only joking of course. But, what was the point of that dream? The truth is some dreams are just that...dreams. They are just pieces of memory that collide with thoughts, to create a small movie in our sleep. On the other hand, I believe that some are truly messages that God is trying to get across to us, and in do time, he will reveal something to us or in us. I believe that it can be God's way of trying to just talk with us. James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." God wants to speak to all of us! The closer that we draw towards HIM, the more we can hear HIM talking to us. I believe that we can hear God just like we hear one another's voices when we are having a conversation. We can hear HIM speak to us clear as day. But, it is when we draw near to HIM and consume HIS presence, that HE can have us close enough, to lean in towards us, and whisper in our ears. HE wants to speak HIS love to us in a way that we do not doubt that it is HIS voice we are hearing. As two people, who are in love, speak sweet nothings secretly to one another, HE wants to speak to us. HE is in love with us and longs to embrace our presence, so He can reveal secrets to us that only we can share together. I had my dream again the other night. It was a little different this time. After I opened the drawers, and held the slippers delicately in my hands, I began to put the slippers on. I am then suddenly wearing the small ballet dress. My hair is neatly placed on top of my head in a bun, with a small flower in the middle of it. I am ready to dance. Then..I awoke. Each time I have had this dream, even though I myself was growing into a woman, I remain a small child in the dream. I always thought the dream meant that I possibly had a hidden desire to become a famous ballet dancer. But, after having the dream this last time, it started to reveal itself in a new way. Each period of my life, where I had the dream, was the different stages of my "growing up" process. I had it when I was about seven, about thirteen, my senior year of highschool, after I got married, and around the time I had each of my children. I guess, since it was the same exact dream, these years stuck out in my memory. But why now and why was it different? So, I began to pray and relive each moment of my life that I had the dream. And then it came to me...a revelation. These are all the times that I also grew spiritually. I came to know Jesus as my Lord and savior at the age of seven. At the age of thirteen, I began to truly learn how to praise God through song and worship. After highschool, I left home and had to become spiritually independent, without the spiritual covering of my mother. When I got married I had to learn how to be spiritually submissive and pray for my husband. And as you know, after having children, you experience a spiritual connection to God like no other. And now...I have finally learned how to surrender. I have learned to say, "Father, not my will, but yours be done in my life". You see, even though in the previous dreams I had found my ballet slippers, I wasn't ready to put them on and dance. I believe that all the years that I never put the shoes on, was when I was growing up sprititually, but not surrendering my all to God. I have recently learned to, "throw in the towel", "wave the white flag", "put my hands up" and just surrender! When you surrender to God, there is a fresh found freedom! My life is not my own, it is HIS! All these years HE has been waiting for me to surrender completely, take off my tattered shoes, that I have been hopelessly running in, and put on those soft ballet slippers and that dancing dress and dance with HIM. I've spent so much time being a wife, a mother, a taxi driver, an errand runner, a full time employee, and everyone's everything, that I have forgotten that I am HIS everything. And HE needs me to relax, kick off my busy shoes, slip on the shoes that HE has for me and dance with HIM. You know, the life that we make for ourself is never as easy as the life that HE has prepared for us. We have to let go, quit bobbling around with two left feet, and let HIM lead the dance. I may never experience that dream again, or maybe I will in a few years down the road, only God knows. All I do know, is that I will continue to dance with God for as long as I can. My joy is fulfilled in HIM! My prayer today is that you take off your old shoes that have been worn long enough, and step into something new with God...and dance! Psalm 30:1, "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy." Acts 2:17, "In the last days, God says, I will pour out my spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young will see visions, your old men will dream dreams."

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