Where we are.

 

 

 

"Seek the presence of God and hang on to Him.  Go where He goes and let Him fight for you.  Invariably when we're most exhausted, we'll find we're expending more energy fighting the enemy than we are seeking God's presence.  More than you seek to win, seek Christ! More than you seek victory, seek the Victor! As you do, you are binding yourself to His presence and trusting God to carry you into victory." ~~Beth Moore

 

 

 

 

 

I look at this picture and I almost don't recognize my own children.

Crazy right?

 Man, how they have all changed so much over the last year and a few months.

They are all so crazy amazing! We are so blessed.

 

It's been quite a long while since I have written in this space. My intentions are always to write, but the timing doesn't always fit with my intentions.  

This past year has been a full one.
 We've had lots of laughs and a few tears.  Some good times and some bad.  There were struggles and there have been victories. All in all, it's been a good one.

 

I'm happy to be able to have a little time to myself today, so

 I thought I'd help myself catch up on where we are.

 

So, if you're interested, this is

  where we are...

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

Amber is now 22 years old. Wow!

 

She is in Romania. 

 

 She has been there with CTI (Cross Training International) for almost 5 months now. 

 She is truly living out God's voice over her life. 

He spoke to her a few years ago, after her first trip to Romania, that He would send her back to live there for a time. 

 It is a powerful thing to watch God's words, His very breath over her, being lived out.

I am amazed at her faithfulness to her Father. I am amazed at her bravery to answer His call on her life.

I am in awe of the woman she has become.
And her smile...just radiant. She is stunning.

I am a proud, proud momma.

 

She is living there with the Romanian Master's Commission team and other CTI team members. She is loving it! She is ministering each day to the lost and the hurting. Truly being the hands and feet of Jesus.  She is also teaching a Sunday school class each week to a group of young Romanian children.  She is teaching them English. Her heart for children is such a beautiful thing that has unfolded over the past few years. She has become an amazing leader to the XMC team there.

 

I miss her. Terribly. Like, sobbing ugly cry terribly.

Communication is not always easy. She is on a 9 hour time difference and the few hours of the day that we are awake at the same time, doesn't always guarantee that we will get to chat.  Her schedule keeps her busy and mine, well, it has been crazy at times.

 

  I miss her sweet voice.  I miss the opportunity to just pick up the phone anytime I want and hear it. It's a luxury that I will no longer take for granted. Time is short. Oceans are far and wide.

And this momma misses her girl.

 

She returns home during the middle of September.

Oh, what a happy day that will be!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 



Kaitlyn is now 18 years old.
She is in absolute beauty.

She graduated high school this past May.

 

She wowed the entire auditorium with her graduation speech.

She wowed me with her extreme courage to do it.

She was my first homeschool graduate. She has made the scary choice to homeschool, four years ago, worth every second. She was a phenomenal student.

 

As I type, Kaitlyn is boarding a plane to return home from Seattle.

She has been working for most of the summer, saving up for her college tuition.  She has been working with the Event Force team for Microsoft Corporation during the past month, which has kept her out of state in Florida and Washington.

 

This girl is something else. She is smart and brave and funny and simply loves life.

She has a genuine love for people and for serving the Lord. She wants to travel and disciple others. That just makes my heart so full.  It's refreshing to watch her grow into the world changer I knew she would always be.
 I get to be her momma. That's pretty awesome.

 

She is beginning to take the tiny steps to walk out on that branch and take the awaited leap out of the nest.  Her wings have been practicing their flight over the past few months.

She is ready and excited to move into her dorm/apartment and  start college in the Fall where she will attend XMC.

She will do great.  I see her nurturing all her roommates and cooking meals for them. She is a giver. Always has been.  I also see their apartment full of joy. Wherever she is, you'd better be sure there will be much laughter.

 

Me? Well, ya know... I'd say it gets easier the more children you let go of, but I'd be lying.

It is a beautiful, yet hard process. Sort of like labor.

The tearing away of their bodies from yours. But, this time, they take your heart with them. I'm working on getting used to the process. It's a good tearing away, but not an easy one.

 Maybe, when Isaac leaves home in 16 years or so, I'll be a pro at it. (Or maybe not.)

 

I look forward to hugging her neck later tonight when she gets home.

Her face and her laughter have been missed around the house.

They will be missed even more, come September.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mason is now 12 years old.

Or, as he says it, "practically 13".

 

 Out of all the kids, he has definitely changed the most.

 

He will be starting 8th grade in just a few short weeks.

 

In their group picture above, his face was all babyish and soft and still a little squishy.

 

Now?

Well, he has facial hair,  he's 5'7" and 197 pounds!

He grew into a young man overnight, I think.

 

His voice is changing, his face is maturing and he's passed his dad up in shoe size!

 

What the hoohah is happening here?

I was not prepared for this.

  I've watched my girls become young women, and now, I'm watching my sweet baby boy become a man. What a beautiful, yet heart wrenching sight.

He's just a baby!

(Well, he's my baby.)

 

He just returned yesterday from Tween Camp. He talked and talked and talked for the first 4 hours and then he just passed out, practically mid sentence, on the way home.  Camp tired. That's the best tired.

 

He told us last night over supper, that he was filled with the Holy Spirit during one of their evening chapel services. He said it was the weirdest and best feeling he's ever experienced.

 

I did good, y'all... holding back the tears, as he shared his life changing news in his newly deepening pubescent voice.
(I was freaking out on the inside with tears and joy and all that jazz!)

 

He's growing up...so, so fast.

 

My heart is trying to stay caught up with all of it.  I'm doing my best to flow with all of the changes going on with everyone.

 

Mason is a sweet, sweet young man. He's a good helper and a hard worker.

He's looking forward to his sister moving out in September, so that he can finally have the
"big room".

He's also looking forward to the day that he can grow a beard, like his dad.

I'm not ready for that.

Not. at. all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Isaac is almost 2 years old.

 

He is a busy toddler who insists that he should live outside...all of the time!
(Even though his momma is allergic to the planet. Thank you, Lord, for anthihistamines!)

 

He is talking really well and beginning to show his own little personality.

His giggle is possibly the best sound I have ever heard.

 It is extremely contagious. It's simply the best.

 

He loves shoes, our rooster "Popcorn", playing with his best friend, Ren, praying and saying "Amen" at every meal, and watching Curious George.  He gives the best hugs and recently learned to say, "I wuvv oo."

I. just. melt. like. buttah.

 

He has come so very far since a year ago, when he had heart surgery.

We've had a few of our 1 year checkups since surgery, and for the most part, he is in great health. He no longer has the symptoms he had before surgery and it has been a blessing watching him enjoy life without being sick.

 

His sensory issues are up and down.  We have some really good days for the most part, but when we have bad days, they are really rough...with a capital RROOOUUUGH!

God is teaching me much about myself and how to be a mother, during this season with Isaac.

Much, much.

You'd think since my oldest is 22, I'd have this mothering thing in the bag by now. Ummm, not exactly. God is showing me that my kids aren't the only ones that are growing, or that need to grow.

(But, that's for another blog post.)

 

We are, however, in the middle of new medical tests. He's had some mild, yet persistent symptoms, over the past 6 months or more. An abnormal test result revealed that he could have something serious going on.  We are awaiting results right now.  We have several doctors appointments for this coming week.  We are praying and praying to receive some answers soon, and of course, for a perfect healing in his little body.

 

Until then, I am taking in each moment and trying not to forget to breathe.

I am reminding myself that God has our best intentions in mind. He always has.

 

My husband said it best,

"God's in control. He always has been. I don't want to work against what He wants to do in us, so I've just learned to go with it. His control is better than mine has ever been."

 

So true. Such a wise man.

 

 

 

 

As for me and this handsome stud, we are approaching our 24th wedding anniversary.

(Geez, we are old!)

 

We are doing our best to hold onto this fast train that our kids have us on.

They are all such a delight and we've enjoyed every part of this ride with them. We are ready to have them all under the same roof again. That will be a very good day, indeed.

We look forward to the season ahead of us. We do our best to embrace everything as it comes and not take one moment for granted.

 

At times, we feel so undeserving of the life we get to live.

 

Who knew a girl from the projects and a Cajun boy from the bayou would end up so crazy and wonderfully blessed!

 

God has been so very good to us.


"At the end of the day, I have a life that's good."
 

 

These days, we are doing our best to stay connected with one another. Life, these past couple of years, has caused us to get into a continuous motion of survival. Situations, beyond our control, have blindsided us and knocked us out of wack a bit. Life will do that sometimes. It doesn't ask permission before it does. Stuff just comes.

In the midst of being tossed about, we have forgotten, at times, why we jumped on this crazy train in the first place.

All because we were deeply and passionately in love.

We just wanted to breathe each other in, all of the time.

We wanted to love and laugh with each other, forever.

 

"Through sickness and in health. Through good times and bad. Until death do we part."

 

We are working our way back to that place with one another and enjoying doing so.

I am thankful for God's strength that has kept us afloat. He is quick to grab us when we begin to sink. His hand definitely does uphold us.

 

Frankie is an extraordinary man and a great partner. He leads our family well.

He makes me laugh until I snort. I love him so very much. He's my boo.

 This journey would not be worth living without him.

 

 

So, folks, that is exactly ...where we are.

 

God continues to show me, that through it all, and wherever we are... He is there.

 He is there in the good, the bad, the easy, the struggle, the laughter, the tears, the failures, the victories and in the midst of all the changes.

 

It's the sweetest thing, seeing His love ebb and flow through every area of our lives.

 

Nothing goes unseen by Him and nothing is a surprise to Him.

 

He is always there, watching over us.

 

Where we are...He simply is.

 

 

Psalms 33:18

"But the Lord watches over all who honor Him and trust His kindness."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



When He leans.

 

Psalm 116:1-2
I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

 

 

Friends tell me all the time that I have what it takes to do this.

That God knew this sweet boy needed me. That he needed what only I could give him.

 

 

And each time I hear my friends say that...

I feel less than qualified.

 

In eight days, our little guy will undergo a major operation.

They will open his tiny little chest and repair an artery near his heart that has caused him more trouble than all of us expected.

 

And I wonder,

"How on earth am I prepared or qualified to handle this?"

 

I wonder, on some days, when I am so tired that I can't even remember the last time I bathed and sleeping becomes more important than eating, if God should have given this little angel to a twenty something-ball of energy-conquer the world-super girl...rather than me.

 

 

I question it...

where this invisible strength and ability that other people see stems from.

 

Your Grace abounds in deepest waters.

 

The past few days have been the hardest.

The questions I ask are the same but different.

"How do I do this, God? How do I hand my baby over to these doctors to perform this surgery? How?"
 

 

I try to wrap my mind around what is about to happen and I fall apart in tears at the drop of the smallest hat.

 

I'm in deep, real deep.

 

This is more than I can handle.

 

This is big, and I feel very small.

 

I wrote the struggle of this journey in a blog post a while back. It was at the beginning when we were just finding out about the health issues Isaac was having. At the time, all I could do was lean into God, because I felt my feet were failing me.

 

Around every corner they come...the tears.
They fall and they fall and I lean and I lean.

 The weakness takes over and I just want to fall over more and more.

I can barely feel my feet beneath me.
My heart is heavy.

 

That was almost seven months ago.

Since then, I have seen more than my momma's eyes and heart could imagine.

I have seen more needles poked into his soft fragile arms than I can count.

I have held him down screaming for the doctors to run test after test after test.

I have rocked a sick and tired baby for hours and hours and hours.
I have memorized the sound his heart beat makes as he has slept on my chest night after night.
I have laid my hands on his little body and prayed healing prayers until I have become breathless.

 

And today, as we finally have the answers we have searched for all these months, those feet...

have finally failed me and I feel as though I am falling flat on my face.

The energy to get back up...well, it's just not there.

 

My smallness gets even smaller.

 

But, that's when it happens...

The Leaning.

Not mine...but His.

 

 

Love that goes upward is worship;
 love that goes outward is affection;
 love that stoops is Grace.
~~Donald Grey Barnhouse

 

It's at the moment when I have collapsed in my weakness, that He leans into me.
  

As my chin falls to the floor, He lifts it up gently towards Him.

 

And He reminds me.

 

That He is all that I need.

That I don't have to be strong in every moment that comes.
That He is my help when I feel helpless.

Psalm 46:1
 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.

Within His touch, my smallness doesn't seem to matter anymore...because His greatness is all I see.

His presence is all I feel.

 

  I begin to weep and say His name Jesus, over and over with grief ridden breathlessness.
Then He leans in,
 He hears
 and He knows.
 He knows my heart is heavy, worried and overflowing with love for this little boy.
He knows that I feel unqualified, unprepared, and less than enough.

 

 Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
 

He leans toward me, whispers softly into my heart the reason why I am qualified for this journey...

"Because you are mine and you were made for this."

And just as Sarah laughed when the Angel of The Lord told her she'd have a child in her old age, just as I laughed when God spoke those words to me... I giggle under my breath...
"Oh, God, You must know something that I don't."


Then I am reminded of the suitcase that is packed in my bedroom and sitting in the baby's crib.
I see it in my mind, the mountain of clothes and necessities being packed to be away from home with Isaac as he undergoes cardiac surgery.

Then I remember something else...

I've had a bag packed for over 7 months now.
I keep it tucked away in my closet. It's a small overnight bag. It has a set of clean clothes, toiletries and pajamas inside. Everything I need for an emergency trip is in that small bag.
We've visited the hospital so many times in this little boy's life, that I have kept a bag packed just in case. Just in case.
I tried many times to unpack it, but I could never get myself to do it.

He shows me that this suitcase represents my preparedness. It represents my readiness to go where He leads me. Its size represents how small I feel up against this giant we are about to face. But, still in all, it carries what I need. I may not have known why I packed the bag or where I was going, but I was ready to go and had everything I needed already inside of it.

I had everything I needed already inside of it.

I have everything I need already inside of me.
It's been tucked away for such a time as this.
And even though I feel small, there is greatness on the inside of me.
I carry everything I need inside of me.

God is that greatness.

God is that everything.

He is everything.

John 15:9
"For without me you can do nothing."

As this revelation becomes clearer and clearer to me, He leans in closer...
"You have Me. I am enough. I am all you need."

 

He is strong enough to hold me when I can not stand.
He is strong enough to hold me.
He is strong enough.

 He is enough.

 

He leans even closer, and His voice resonates in my heart as He speaks life into this baby...
"You don't hand him to them. You hand him to Me. I am enough for you and I am enough for him."

 

 I see Him stretching His arms out for me to collapse into them.
  I feel the warmth of His embrace as my tears mingle together as they fall at His feet.
I see the love in His eyes as He becomes ALL that I need and more.
I hear the comfort in His voice as He reminds me who He is. Because today, right now, in this very moment...
I need Him to be all that He says He is.


Luke 18:27
"But He said, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God.'"

When He leans...I don't feel so small anymore,
because His greatness is on the inside of me.

  He is everything I need.

He is enough.


Psalm25:5
"Lead my by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you."



Please be in prayer with us as we approach Isaac's day of surgery and believe with us...
 that God is more than enough.



I can see God.

 

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke . . . 

Isaiah 58:6, NIV

 

The kind of fast God leads us into has the power to loose any unjust chains that bind us.

It also unties the cords tethering us to any yoke.

 

 

It's been almost one month since I have written in this sweet place I call home.

 

It seems like forever to me, but for good reason, I chose to lay it down for a few weeks.

 

I was struggling with some things. Really struggling.

 

I'd come to a crossroads in my parenting and homeschooling.

Things seemed to be getting the best of me in both areas and I began to feel it emotionally,
 spiritually

 and physically.

Have you ever been there?
 

I knew that something needed to change.

I knew that the change began with me, where I was and how I was reacting to things around me.

 

I had begun to slowly pull the reigns of my parenting and homeschooling out of God's hands.

 

I handed them over to him when I answered the call of homeschooling that He placed on my life almost two years ago.

 

But slowly, little by little, I pulled those reigns back from Him.

 

I began to work on my own strength and not His.

 

Those reigns eventually began to wear out and break,

 from the pulling and tugging of trying to do things my way.

 

I found myself at the final breaking point after I spent thirty minutes crying,

 locked away in my bathroom,

hiding from my children
 and all of the responsibilities that lay on the other side of the bathroom door.

 

I can't say that it was one big thing that got me there, but more like many little things.

I felt weighed down by all of the pressure to be.

Have you ever felt that way?

 

Things were a mess and I couldn't see things clearly.

The kids were constantly fighting with words or actions.
 I wasn't receiving much embrace from the kids when it came to their schoolwork. Actually, there was none. zero.
I was struggling with being "mom" and "teacher" and when to turn off the latter of the two and when to enforce my mom skills. I began to feel like a drill sergeant more than their Mom.
(Yes, there is a difference.)

Things were just all jumbled in our house and there was little to no peace or organization.

At times, I couldn't even see where God was.

You know why?
 Because I had shoved Him out of the way with my
"Okay, I got this. I can do this without you attitude."

Did He leave me?
Of course not. That's not even in His nature. He is ever present.
 NEVER will He leave me or forsake me.

I had just turned my back to Him, and got caught up in the fog of my self created storm.

Have you ever been there?
 

I needed clarity. I needed answers. I needed direction.
I needed God to sort through the mess around me and bring something good from it.

 I needed to once again,

surrender myself to homeschooling and parenting the way God had called me to.

 

My mind needed to be readjusted and transformed.

The way that only God could.


Ephesians 4:22-23
Regarding your former way of life, you were taught to strip off your old nature, which is being ruined by its deceptive desires. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.


I felt God tugging on my spirit, pulling the reigns, drawing me back to Him.

 

I had contemplated doing a fast for a few weeks.

 

Let me just say, that I have never been one to be able to fast. Never.

 

I have tried and failed miserably everytime. Lasting only a day or two. If that long.

 

With that said,
 I knew,

that a fast was exactly what I needed

to be able to really see things for the way they were and for the way they needed to be.

 

The clarity I desperately needed was there for the taking.

 

But, I had to make a sacrifice to get there.


"And I set my face unto the Lord God, to seek by prayer and supplications,
with fasting, and sackcloth, and ashes: And I prayed unto the Lord God,
and made my confession... "
  Daniel 9:34

 

I decided to do the Daniel Fast.

Three weeks of fasting and praying.


Daniel 10:2-3
In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks.   I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.


It's not just fasting and praying, it's a deep spiritual experience to grow closer to the Savior,
seeking intimacy, answers and direction.

 

 The fasting part consists of

21 days of no meat.
No animal products of any kind.
(Also, no processed foods, chips, snacks, etc.)

 

Vegetables, fruits, beans, nuts, grains and water.

 

That's it.

Last but not least...no CHOCOLATE. None. Zero.

 

This was going to be a hard one for me personally.

 I went over and over it in my head and could only see the reasons why I shouldn't do it.

I could see myself growing weak very easily and possibly passing out.

 

I kept telling God the words "I can't".

 

I said it again and again to try and convince Him and myself that I just couldn't do it.

 

I was standing at the sink washing dishes one day,

 going over and over it in my head,

repeating the words, "But I can't. But I can't. But I can't", 

when God spoke to me and said...

 

"But I can."

 

 

2 Corinthians 12:9

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

 

 

I began the fast on March 11th. 21 days from Easter Sunday.

 

Along with giving up meat,

 I decided to give up all grains.

 

I also decided to give up blogging on my personal blog.

 

Hence my absence here.

 

This was probably harder than the food fast.

 

My blog is like my 4th child.

It's where I go to be me.

 It's where I go to share all the amazing struggles and triumphs I walk through.

It's where I share my heart and all of the grace that God has poured over me.
It's therapy for me. It's my outlet.

It's where I have found great healing over the past few years.

  It's where I talk with God.

It's where I find sweet friends like you.

 

It's home.

Even though this blog has been a good place for me and a true gift from God,
it has also taken His place at times.

Sometimes we worship the gift over the Giver.

I'm pretty sure that was not what God intended when He spoke into my heart to begin writing my journey down.

This too needed to change.
 

I knew that if I was going to finally do a fast, I needed to make it count and give up not only the foods that were my weakness, but also the things in my life that were a weakness as well.

This blog at times has been a weakness.

 

I knew...

that a sacrifice wasn't really a sacrifice if it didn't cost you anything.

 

Doing the Daniel Fast was a sacrifice for me.

Giving up my blog was a even a bigger sacrifice.

 

The first few days of the fast were probably the hardest on me,

 not because of the food temptations,

but because my body was trying to adjust to its new way of life.

 

Honestly...

the fast wasn't all that bad.

 

It just became a way of life for me.

After those first few days, I began to feel energetic and full of life!

Each time I got hungry, I prayed. I read my Bible. I talked with God.
I thought of my children.

I pictured Him, in the garden of Gethsemene,
 the night before He was arrested and later crucified for my sake,
being tempted by the enemy.

I thought of Him drawing strength from His Father to be able to fulfill the ultimate sacrifice, for me.

I thought of His pain through it all.
And yet He prayed for me in that garden that night.
He thought of me. He thought of you.

I thought of His unending, unfathomable, unchangeable love.

I thought of the love I have for my children. I thought of the fast as a sacrifice for them.

And this...got me through.
 

I began to pray and talk to God in a way I never had before.
Our intimacy grew.

 I craved prayer time.

I began to crave  His Word. It truly is nourishment for your heart and soul.

Friend,
if you are in a dry season spiritually,
stop what you are doing right now...even if it's reading this blog and run to your Bible.
 Pick it up. Open it. Soak in all that it has to give.
Let the very words that God spoke pour over you with love and life!
It will revive you! I promise you!

 

I began to get the clarity that I so desired to have within the area of parenting and homeschooling.

 

I began to have all sorts of creative ideas and began to see the areas that needed changing.

 

I began to see...to finally see,

 the way God intended for me to depend on Him in the area of homeschooling.

It was as though God was wiping the blur from my eyes with every prayer I prayed in surrender to Him.

 

I began to pray each and every morning for each of my children.

 

And not just the usual "Guard their hearts, protect them" prayer.

 

I began to take time to pray for each of them in

specific areas that fit where they were at that very moment.

Each day, I layed them at His feet saying,

"Here God, they are Yours. They've always been Yours. You know them better than I do. Show me what they need. Give me the wisdom and words to speak into each of them. Show me how to be the mother You have called me to be. Let my life as their Mom be pleasing in Your sight."

 

My prayers as their mom became deeper and bolder with each passing day.

 

I began to see changes, even of the smallest kind, in each of them.

 

I began to yell less. Yes, I just admitted that.

 I began to talk to them in a way that even surprised me.

Peace came back to our home.
 

I began to feel different in every way. I became a better and stronger me.

 

It's all because I depended on God's strength and not my own.

 

Phillippians 4:13

I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.

 

The fast definitely changed my life.

 

Fasting changed my perception by changing my focus.

~~Lisa Bevere

 

Not only is my spiritual mind different and I found clarity in my parenting and homeschooling abilities, but I found a new way to live.

 

I love the way that the Daniel Fast has taught me to eat.

 

I can't see myself ever going back to eating the way that I once did.

  

My body, mind and spirit all crave this something new.

 

I can see so many things in a new way.

I can see clearly now...

I can see God.

 

 

Fasting is not for weight gain or loss. Nor is it limited to natural healing.
 It is not designed to change the way we look and feel, but to change the way we perceive and live.
 A diet may change the way you look, but a fast will change the way you live.
A diet may change your appearance, but a fast will change the way you see; it will alter your inner perspective.

~~Lisa Bevere




I wanted to give a shout out to my sweet friend Christy.

(She is one of my faithful followers, daughter of the King, a very talented blogger, amazing mom and wife.)

Christy writes over at Life is Good.
Do yourself a favor and check her out!

Christy...

I opened up my blog to type this last night and saw your comment waiting to be moderated.
I laughed so hard I snorted. It wasn't even a dry snort, but a wet one.

It totally made my month of absence worth coming back!!

You are a jewel my friend.

I can't wait to meet you in person one day.

We will laugh until the sun comes up!!

And we will snort...yes, there will be lots of snorting!!

I love you.

Thanks for being you!

 



One lucky lady.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I wonder if all the things I tell my kids on a daily basis,

really get heard by them.

 

If I had a nickel for every time I have told them one particular thing over and over and over,

well...

I'd have a whole lot of nickels!

 

I feel like a recorder sometimes and my words are exhausting.

 

Do you ever feel that way?

 

Can I get a witness here?! Somebody please say YES!

 

The other day I was at soccer practice with my son and ALAS!

 

I found out, that they ARE listening!

 

Something is actually getting in those heads of theirs!

 

Let me explain...

 

We began teaching our son at an early age how important it was to show respect to girls.

 

Living with two older sisters and one Mom, I thought it was good practice in showing him how important it was to treat a girl with honor and dignity.

 

We have been very adamant on the way that he speaks to his sisters and myself.

We have also taught him that you do not put your hands on a girl unless it is out of love or respect.

(Like hugging or shaking hands.)

 

No hitting. None. No exceptions!

 

We've taught him to open the door for a lady,

always help with the groceries,

say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am",

 and ask her, if she is carrying something, "Can I help you with that?"

 

It's something that we feel is important for him to learn now.

He will one day be a husband and a father, not just our son.

 

 

Proverbs 22:6

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

 

 

We want him to know that chivalry and honor are not dead!

 

They are very much alive.

 

The dictionary describes being chivalrous as

marked by honor, generosity and courtesy, especially towards women.

 

We want him to know that respect is important and that it will take him very far.

 

We want him to know that if he sows seeds of respect and honor,

he will reap respect and honor.

 

He is just as important as the girls we have taught him to respect.

His heart is just as valuable as theirs.

 

If you haven't noticed...our world is changing. And not always in a good way.

The old days of respect and honor for one another is fading fast.

If we don't teach our children the important value of loving and respecting one another, having manners, and self worth...it may one day be gone all together.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

It doesn't have to fade away. It can actually be revived!

 

We definitely don't want it to fade in our own home.

As with anything else, we want them to be set apart and take a stand for the things that are important to God...not this world.

We do our best, to exhaust our own breath and continue to tell them over and over and over again how important it is.

 

It's what God has told us to do...

 

John 15:12

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

 

Phillippians 2:3

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.

 

Romans 12:10

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;

 

 

So...

the other day we were at the soccer field.

 

 He was practicing kicking the ball around a little bit before practice officially started. There were a few of his teammates doing the same thing. One of the little girls accidentally grabbed the wrong ball, and the little boy that it belonged to snatched it out of her hands... then kicked the ball, hitting her in the back as she walked away.

 

My little guy AKA Mr. Chivalry,

then looks at the little boy, after watching the whole thing transpire, and says...

"Dude, that is not cool. You do not hit a girl."

 

The little boy looked surprised at Mason's remark and asked,

"Well what was I supposed to do? She took my ball!"

 

Mason walked over to him, placed his hand gently on his shoulder and said,

"Dude, dude. It doesn't matter what she did. You should never treat a girl like that."

 

The boy answered back and said,

"Well at least I didn't punch her!"

 

Mason, looking shocked says,

"Dude, don't even think about that. Do you know she is going to be a lady some day? You do not treat a lady like that. That is not cool."

 

 

Seriously...

it took all I had to keep myself in my folding chair and not jump up screaming,

"That's my boy! Right there!  Oh yeah! He's mine!"

 

I was so proud! I can not even tell you.

 

I could have swooped him up and hugged him for like an hour!

 

And to top that off...if I wasn't floating enough from a few days ago,

today...at a field trip,

he opened the car door for his little friend, so she could get into the car first.

 

Be still my mothering heart!!

 

I tell ya...this boy of mine has warmed my life.

 

He's definitely a keeper!

 

And whoever gets his heart down the road...

will be one lucky lady!

 

(But for now...he's all mine!)

 

 

1 Corinthians 11:7-12



For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. ⁸ For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. ⁹ Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. ¹⁰ That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.¹¹ Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; ¹² for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.

 

 

 

Ephesians 5:21-28

 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[b her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

 

 



Sometimes they hate me.

Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

 

Sometimes they hate me.

 

My children that is.

 

I know, I know...hate is a very strong word.

 

Hate actually means to dislike intensely or passionately, feel extreme hostility for.

 

Yep. I'd say that's exactly how they feel sometimes.

 

The thing is...I'm okay with it.

 

Maybe not all the time or with a smile on my face, but for the most part,

I am.

 

Discipline is not always easy, and it can create an environment that can often become explosive.

But, it's necessary. It's needed. It's essential.

 

I've spent many nights crying to God through tears to show me how to discipline my children without them having to hate me, dislike me, or feel extreme hostility towards me.

 

I've spent other nights praying to God through gritted teeth to help me NOT put them in a choke hold when they throw me a pair of rolling eyes and stomp off in anger muffling words of animosity under their breath, because they didn't get their way and didn't understand mine.

 

I've prayed to God until my breath was weak for His guidance concerning them.

 

I've cried tears of anguish over them for the need to do the right thing and make the right decisions parenting them.

 

I've prayed aimlessly on the front lines of battle, while the world pulled them in one direction,
 and me and God pulled them in another. 

I've lost more hours of sleep at night praying for them than anything else.
Yet still...

I've prayed. I've cried. And I've prayed some more.

 

And you know what?

After 20 years of parenting, I can't say that it gets any easier.

I can't say that I have stopped praying, crying or having sleepless nights.

 

I can't say that I've gotten this parent thing all figured out.

I can't say that I've never wanted to throw in the towel,
give up on this Momma stuff
 and run for the hills.

I can't say that I've never lost my cool or never made mistakes.
 

I can't say that on most days they think I'm the greatest thing ever.

 

I can't say that I spend more time being the hero in their life, rather than the enemy.

I can't say that I've walked away from every fight or argument feeling like the victor,
 rather than a defeated failure.

 

I can't say that I've said "yes" to them more times than I've said "no".

 

I can't say that sometimes they don't hate me.

 

I just can't.

 

 I can say...

that every tear shed,
every fight won or lost,
 every rolling eye,
every tear in my heart,
every argument,
every door slammed,
every prayer of desperation,
every feeling of regret,
every want to give up,
every sleepless night,
every "no" shouted,
every disappointed look received,
every moment of failure,
every prayer spoken...

has been worth it.


My oldest daughter is now 20 years old and attending her second year at college.

We still don't always see eye to eye,
but our hearts have somehow seemed to line up over the past couple of years.

Maybe because of the distance between us,
or maybe she finally sees that all these years I've been for her and not against her.

That I've been her greatest supporter and not her dream crusher.
(Don't all teenagers think that?)

Or that maybe, just maybe, Mom knew what she was talking about.
(Excuse me as I jump up in celebration!! Woohooo!!)

Whatever the case may be...
I can honestly say,
that she has become one of my closest and dearest friends.

Notice I said, "become".

It took time, and years and years of loving her enough to discipline her.

We talk about everything now. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYthing.

Sometimes I have to step out of the conversation we are having and ask myself,
"Is this really happening right now? Is she trusting me with her inner most thoughts and dreams and goals? Does she really appreciate my advice after all these years? Am I dreaming?"

If I'm dreaming...please don't wake me!!

She is not only my oldest child whom I adore with my entire being,
but she is my friend who I enjoy to be around.

And believe me...we've had our hard moments together as Mom and daughter.

Sometimes when we sit together and talk she grabs my hand in hers, rubs it gently and says,
"I love you Mom."

She sends me text messages that read,
"I miss you Mom." or "How's your day going?" or "Thanks for loving me and taking care of me Mom."

Let me just say that each and every time she does,
I melt like butter.
My heart feels fuller and fuller.

When she comes home she tells her sister and brother how important it is to respect me and for them to appreciate me being there for them.
(Hallelujah!! Can I get an Amen?!)

I feel like I've won the lottery of parenting and my winnings are overflowing!!

The thing is...

Our first obligation to our children, is to be their parent.
Our reward for that, is that we get to be their friend.

Being their parent means that we are willing to do the hard stuff,
 instead of going for the easy way out.

It's about loving them daily, even when some of those days are really hard.

It's about listening to God's correction within our own lives as we guide them along.

It's about loving them enough to save them from themselves and their own self destruction.
Isn't that what God does with us? He saves us from ourselves.

It's about trusting God to be our eyes when we can't see what they need.

It's about knowing that you can't do parenting without God's help.
That without Him you will fall apart.

It's about holding on to our end of the rope when we are playing a game of discipline tug-of-war.

It's about giving them space to share their heart with us.

It's about being overly nosey, checking on them, not giving them too much privacy,
 and in return them feeling safe enough to tell and share everything with us.

It's about NOT forcing them to grow up too fast in a world that tells them it's the norm to do so.

 It's about NOT making ourselves look like better parents
or like we have it all together,
just because we say that we have more "mature" kids.

Your "mature" child needs you to pull in the reigns and slow them down a bit,
not rush the process.

It's about letting them be young, experiencing the beauty of their youth,
because they have the rest of their lives to be mature and old enough.

It's about letting them grow with every season, at the appropriate time.

Mommas...don't move out of God's will for your child by forcing them past the season they are in right now.  Before you know it, they will be in the next and not at all prepared for it.

I know...
I was that child forced to grow up way too fast.
 It sent me spiraling down a road I was not prepared for.
 One that caused harm in more ways than one.
 It sent me searching for my lost childhood in places that were not good for me.
My heart was left unguarded and way too immature to handle what life brought me.

 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born,  and a time to die; a time to plant,  and a time to pluck up that which is planted.
Life will wait for them.  When they are ready they will take it on with courage and strength,  and with you by their side,  or in the background cheering them on.

My oldest daughter put a facebook status up yesterday.
 We had spent several hours together sitting and talking at the doctor's office.

The status said,
"My mom is just awesome."

When I saw it, I smiled so big my face hurt!

And although on most days, awesome is not how I would describe myself...
I'm glad that she thinks I am.
 

 But that took time, lots of prayer,
and much grace.

It took years of loving and disciplining and praying and crying.

It took God's discipline in my own life as her parent.
It took His instruction and His grace over me.

It took her hating me sometimes. A whole lot of times.
But it was worth it. Every second.


So what if sometimes your children hate you...
in the end and eventually,
they will think you're awesome!

Love well, hold tight, stay strong, and stand your ground...for great is your reward!


Proverbs 31:25-28a
 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
  Her children arise up, and call her blessed;

 

 

 



Small things.

 

 

 

Today,

for the first Valentines Day since my husband and I have been married,

I woke up alone.

 

He is working out of town.

 

Bummer.

 

It seems as though, lately, my entire family is scattered.

 

All of our schedules have been wacky, crazy busy, and rarely line up with eachother's.

 

Between work,

school,

appointments,

commitments,

retreats,

sleepovers,

and life in general...

it's been almost impossible to get all of us under the same roof at the same time.

 

The last two times my daughter has spent the day home from college, her Dad was out of town working.

 

We haven't even been able to celebrate her 20th birthday all together yet.

 

We keep waiting for the time that we are all available and in the same state!

 

Her birthday was January 31st!

 

Very, very sad.

 

This is not like us at all and I think we are all beginning to feel the effect from it.

 

I am blessed to say, that we all really do like to spend time with eachother.

 

The truth is,

things flow better when we all have time together.

 

We are able to connect in a special way that only the five of us can.

 

I must admit,

for this momma and wife...

it's starting to get to me.

 

This momma hen loves her chickadees and adores her rooster!

 

This new season has been a great reminder for me of how important it is to make the very best of the moments that we DO have together.

 

Soak them up mommas and wives.

Let them seap into your heart until they are overflowing!

Hug them, hug again, then hug some more!

Squeeze em' tight!

 

 

A couple of years ago, my husband and I stopped giving to one another on Valentines Day.

Sounds a little crazy, but really it's not.

We found, after 20 years of marriage,

that our love needed to be celebrated 365 days of the year, not just one.

We do our best to make every day special.

And it's not just about gifts.

 

It's about creating intimacy with one another, and I'm not talking just physical.

Intimacy is creating an atmosphere of closeness and familiarity.

It's about having deep understanding of one another.

It's an expression of love.

 

For me...

there isn't anything more romantic, than walking in from a long day of errands to your husband standing at the stove cooking supper.
Or when he calls me in the middle of the day, in the midst of his crazy schedule, to see how my day is going.
Or when I get in my car, and he has filled up my gas tank.
Hubba, hubba!

 

For him...

he loves when I listen to him. Intently.With all of my focus and attention. No cell phone in hand. About whatever it is that he wants to tell me. Whether that be his day at work or a new tool he saw at Lowe's.
Or attempting to still learn his first language, Cajun French, after 23 years together.
Or helping him tend his vegetable garden and watering it before he gets home from work.

Be still my heart!

 

For both of us...

praying together for our family,
accomplishing our goals,
fixing one another's cup of coffee in the morning,
 and holding hands while watching TV at night.

It's about caring about what eachother cares about.
It's about learning their love language.
It's about loving extravagantly every day.

It's about doing small things with great love...all year round.

It's about loving today and each day that follows, just as God loves.
Without ceasing or without fail.

It's something we want to pass down to our children,
 because they will look to us and our marriage and our life together as they begin theirs with their own spouses one day.
We want them to know we loved eachother well.
Not always perfect, but consistently.

The way we show our love every day will have more impact on them,
than just the love we show on Valentines Day.
 

So, with all that said...we started showering our kids with love on Valentines Day.

They are the product of our love and that is something to be celebrated!!

 

 

In the celebration of Valentines Day,

I found a few pictures and quotes that best describe how I feel about my Fantastic Four!

 

They have truly made my life worth living!

 

 

 

 

 

And for my Savior,

Who is my heart's delight!

 

 

 

 

1 Corinthians 13

 

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

² If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

^3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

 

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

^8-10 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

¹¹ When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

¹² We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

¹³ But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

 

 

 

Happy Valentines Day!

 

Do small things with great love!