Sunday, June 6, 2010

What was I thinking?

If you know anything about me, then you know I am apparently allergic to the planet! For years, I suffered with terrible headaches and many, many sinus infections. I was allergy tested a year or so ago, and found out that I have bad allergies. That explained alot! It was the reason for the headaches and sinus infections. I began getting weekly allergy shots. Since then, my life has been totally different. Much better in fact. I also found out, that I have a sensitivity to chemicals. That also explains alot! I have always been very sensitive to medications. There are many medications that I am highly allergic to. (too many to name) There are others, that make me extremely sleepy, or cause my heart to beat extremely fast. So basically, I can lick a benadryl, and have to go straight to bed. Or, I could just look at a sudafed, and feel the need to run a marathon. No joking! Ask any of my family members, they will agree. One of the chemicals, that I have extreme reactions to, is bleach. I hate bleach! I can smell it from anywhere. When I inhale it, it causes me to have trouble breathing, and it causes me to have an instant headache. At times, I can even feel it burning my lungs. Just the thought of it, makes my heart beat fast. Very scarey!! It is my kryptonite. Well...that can be a problem, since I am also a "recovering clean freak". And we all know, how well bleach cleans things. So... I was in one of my cleaning moods yesterday. Dangerous!! I decided to disinfect my kitchen sink and countertops. I was using 409 spray, but it just wasn't doing the job, and being that my countertops are white, I knew what would do the trick. Yes...bleach!! I thought to myself, "I will just use a little, so it won't hurt me." I wish that someone would have stood there and shouted, "NOOOO...NOT THE BLEACH!!!" But, I was by myself, and in a zone! I grabbed the soft scrub with bleach, otherwise known as "the devil". I cleaned my little heart out...and let me just say, that my countertops are as white as a marshmallow. I was almost done, and then it happened. My heart began to race, my head began to pound, my lungs began to burn, and I began to feel as though, I was losing my breath. What was I thinking? I knew that this would happen. I had to run outside, and try to get some fresh air. Yeh... big mistake. It was rainy, humid and hot. It made things worse. I began to gasp for air. I ran inside, put the vent on over my stove, to suck up the bleach in the air, then ran into my room and turned on the fan. I stood there for several minutes breathing in the clean, cool air of the fan. Aahhh! Relief. Although, my head continued to pound for several minutes, I could breathe. How dumb I was! Even though I knew it would hurt me, I used the one cleaner I wasn't supposed to. And it turned around and bit me in the rear. Why did I do that? What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking. Isn't that just how we do with our sin? The one thing, that we know will harm us, is the one thing that we want. The one thing, that we can't stay away from. The thing that will make us fall the hardest, is the one thing that we want to do. Then we try to convince ourselves, "It's only a little bit, a little sin, it won't hurt me this time." But then, it sends us spiraling down a road of pain and misery. If only I had listened to that small, still voice in my head. If only I had resisted. Resist means "to work against or actively oppose, to withstand". We must work against the sin in our lives. Sin is not our friend, or our companion in life. It is the one thing, that will keep us from seeing God. Sin is the one thing that will destroy our lives. Even if it's just a little, or alot. It will destroy families, and the things that we have worked hard to build in our lives. But resisting sin, will only make us stronger in Christ. Ephesians 6:12-13, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers and powers of the dark world and spiritual forces of evil. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to STAND." It is only in God, that we will find the strength to work against and withstand sin. Only through Jesus, will we find victory over our weaknesses. And we all have them. But they don't have to have us! Resist!! Work against the sin in your life!! Withstand those small or big temptations!! So, you won't be standing one day, hurt and out of breath, saying to yourself, "What was I thinking?" I Samuel 36: 11-12, "...what is more pleasing to the Lord, your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Obedience is far better than sacrifice. Listening to him is much better than offering the fat of rams, rebellion is as bad as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as bad as worshiping idols."

1 comment:

  1. Tammy, this is a really great blog. You are right that things which are the worse for us are the things we desire (no different from Adam and Eve) - that is our sin nature which can only be defeated through Christ. We truly must fight against the flesh each and every day and only by small victories do we achieve a step closer to our ultimate goal of obedience to our Savior.


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