Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Love Song

Music is one of the most precious gifts that God has given us. The melodies, the instruments and the sound of flawless voices, that come together to create a song, is a beautiful art. I come from a family of music. We were not famous and never recorded anything, but for as long as I remember, there was music in our house. My mother loved to sing and she passed the love onto all of her children. We sang everywhere and all the time. I guess that is why I can attribute each memory that I have in life to a certain song. Isn't it funny how a song can bring a flash of your lifetime racing back to you. It may cause you to laugh, cry, feel joy, feel sadness, miss someone that has passed on or...remind you where you once were and make you appreciate where you are now. There is one particular song that I hadn't heard in a couple of years and it did just this. It brought me back in time to remember a particular moment. I remember where I was when I last heard it. I remember what I was wearing. I remember who I was with. I remember how I felt. I remember how I cried when I heard these words; The pathway is broken And The signs are unclear And I don't know the reason why You brought me here But just because You love me the way that You do I'm gonna walk through the valley If You want me to 'Cause I'm not who I was When I took my first step And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet so if all of these trials bring me closer to You Then I will go through the fire If you want me to It may not be the way I would have chosen When you lead me through a world that's not my home But You never said it would be easy You only said I'd never be alone So when the whole world turns against me And I'm all by myself And I can't hear You answer my cries for help I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through And I will go through the valley If you want me to You would have to understand where I was at the time to get what the song means. When I heard the song I had just dropped my children off to their father. We were separated at the time. After seventeen years of marriage I had asked him to move out. Months of arguing had gotten the best of all of us, so with God's direction I suggested we separate. Yes..I said, "with God's direction". Sometimes God will ask us to do things that, to us, make no sense at all, but have faith in knowing he has it all worked out. So, there I was in my truck dropping my children off to spend the night with their dad. He was hurt and angry and my heart was breaking. I remember pulling away out of the driveway crying while the words of the song played in my ear. "O.K. God I will do this but it's not going to be easy", I remember telling Him. Our lives were upside down at the moment. If that were the only thing going on, it might have been a little easier, but it wasn't. Less than a week after my husband moved out, we had to evacuate for a hurricane. There I was in another state with the three kids and my husband in another. Our family was split. The hurricane destroyed a good part of our roof which caused a lot of water damage to our home. It was unlivable. So here I was, no husband by my side, three children, and no home. The kids and I moved in with a family member and my husband with his brother. Everything about our life was uncomfortable at this time. The kids were miserable being out of their house, I was alone and so was my husband. But, there is something about the peace of God that is unexplainable. Because in the midst of all the misery and hurt, I had peace. Was it easy? No, not at all, it was scary at times and very difficult. But,we were never alone, God was still in our lives. There were also other issues going on, that just added more emotional pain to all of us. We were all... in the valley. Two years has passed since that time in our lives. My oldest daughter is going to be in a singing competition in a few days. She had to choose a song with a demo track to sing along with for one of her performances. We picked up the song that she wanted and immediately put it on in the car on the way home. Ironically, the song that she had chosen was "If You Want Me To". The melody of the song hit my heart right away. As the words started coming out of the CD player, my tears began to fall. I sat sobbing, while listening to the entire song. My tears at this time were different. I began to remember how my circumstances were when I had last heard the words, and then remembered where I was at that very moment hearing them again. My husband and I are back together. Our marriage is better than it ever has been. You see, God had to get us each by ourself to be able to deal with us the way he needed to. He sometimes brings us through the fire to bring out our best qualities. I thought my husband was the one needing fixing, but God did a fast one on me, because I needed it just as much. We also were blessed with a new house. My husband had put on a new roof, we put up new walls, new ceilings and repainted most of the house. We moved back in several months after, thinking this is where we would continue our lives together. Then, less than a year later, God blessed us with a four bedroom brick home. He gave us a fresh new house to start our fresh new life together. Our kids are flourishing and each showing their special gifts that God has given them. My husband is now my closest friend. And best of all...God is at the center of our home and our life together. Things are exactly the way they should be. My cup runneth over! As I was remembering all of this in the car, I thought to myself, "Wow! I can't believe where I was then and where I am standing now." My spirit was overcome with emotions of humility. Thank you God! It was never the path that I would have chosen, but God knew all along what HE was doing in my life. Sometimes, we don't or can't see God working in our lives. And HE might ask you to give something up that you can't ever imagine losing. But...when HE gives it back to you, it's better than before. So now, that song is God's love song to me. He loved me enough to bring me where I needed to be. God is and always will be the only path that will take you to the right place. Thank you God for bringing me into the valley, because now I sit on the mountain top! The view is beautiful from up here! Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to give you hope and not to harm you."

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