Sunday, June 20, 2010
Who's your daddy?
Matthew 6:33, "Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern." I worked as a receptionist, at a tire shop several years ago. Being that it was a tire/mechanic shop, there were alot of men who would visit the shop. There was one thing that tickled me about my job...the elderly men. They would come in, to get their tires fixed, or their oil changed, and have to greet me first, to put their order in. They would greet me with a huge grin and say, "Hey darlin'..what's your name?" I would answer back with a smile and then they would ask the important question...which I soon found out, was all they really cared about. "Who's your daddy?" That's it. They only wanted to know who my father was. Nothing about me...just my dad. So, I would go into a long story with them, explaining who my father was, and who my husband was, and who his daddy was. They would sometimes fix themselves a cup of coffee, and sit down in a chair next to me, just to get more details about my family history. Or should I say my father's history. It would sometimes take a while, but I enjoyed the company and they seemed quite content, when the conversation was over. Years later, I realized that this was an on going, generational thing. My oldest daughter had went to an event for school, and met some of her friend's parents and grandparents. The first thing that the older men asked her was, "Hey baby, who's your daddy?" Too funny. Then I began to realize, these elderly men knew what truly was important. It is all about who your daddy is...but on a much bigger scale. I have realized that no matter who you are, or who you were raised by, there is a built in need for a father figure. Some of our fathers were not who we would have wished they were, and we long for a father to meet those needs within us. Some of us had wonderful, devoted fathers, who filled all our needs...yet, we still long for that fatherly guidance. Why is this? I believe it is because we are longing for our Heavenly Father's guidance and love. We are made of His DNA. It is just natural that we long for His perfected love in our life. And our earthly fathers aren't capable of giving us that perfect love. They weren't built for that. We put expectations upon them that they are incapable of fulfilling. We have to love them for what they do give us, and also love them for what they don't. They can't be with us in the physical sense all the time, protecting us and guiding us, and saying, "watch out". But our Heavenly Father can. I believe that when we truly wrap our heads around that, is when we can truly experience breakthroughs of any kind. We stop being disappointed by the works of man, and depend on the works of God in our life. We stop being afraid, because we know that He is always with us. Isaiah 30:21, "whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears wil hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it." It also helps us to have better relationships with our own fathers, because it allows them to be the humans that they are. We can appreciate their own personal strengths, and not judge them according to their weaknesses. We quit expecting out of them, what only God can give us. I have been blessed in my life with many father figures. First and foremost...God. He is the reason I live and breathe. He has given me my identity, my personality, my gifts, my will and my purpose. He is my strength and my shield. He is the one I run to every hour of everyday. He always has time for me and all of my whaling. (LOL) In Him is where I find me. He is the ultimate daddy!! Secondly...Johnny Higginbotham. He is the man that God entrusted to be my earthly father. He rocks! Growing up, dad worked offshore alot to support eight, fastly growing kids. Therefore, we did not see him every night. But, when he was home...we were two peas in a pod. I went everywhere he went. I was an early riser like him, so he would fix me a cup of coffee milk to drink, as he drank his coffee. We would then contemplate our day. That was the best. Me and my dad...just us. With eight kids in the house, that didn't happen often. Now, our family is even bigger. There are thirteen of us! But somehow, someway, Dad seems to find a way to make one on one time with each of us. He travels all around to visit with all of us. And, if it has been a week or two, since he has heard from any of us, he will take out his phone and start "rounding up his chicks", as he calls it. I have seen him, at the age of 69, sit on the floor, surrounded by about a dozen grandchildren, playing a game of "spoons", and cracking up laughing. He is truly a family man. I thank him for showing me how important family is. Thirdly...my adopted dad...Dennis Beard. Dennis and I met many years ago, after I moved away from home. I was at a point in my life, where I truly needed some guidance. Dennis stepped in with no question. He and his family became like my own. He fathered me like I was his own blood daughter. I would have to call him my earthly-spiritual father, because of his undenying love for God. It has been our connection from the beginning and has been our strength ever sense. The best thing about him, is that he makes sure to hold me accountable to God. If you don't have anyone like this in your life...find someone! He always, always, reminds me of His law and where God's goodness can be found. He loves me enough to hold me to what is true in my life. That takes courage. Lastly..but definitely not least...is my husband, Frankie. Tears come to my eyes, as I even begin to think, of what he means to me. Frankie and I married out of highschool. I tell my daughters, that in a sense, we were eachother's parents, because at the time, ours were distant, so we leaned on one another and finished raising eachother. We have been married for almost nineteen years now, and we have seen the best and worst of one another. We are still standing. He is my rock. He is the one that I need at the end of my day, to vent out all of my frustrations. And when my day has been great, he is the first one I want to share my good news with. I have seen him develop into a wonderful leader and father to his children. Notice I said "develop". That's what parenting truly is...a process of development. Just like any other role we take on in life...it is a process of learning. We will never perfect it, because life continues to change, and we approach new obstacles around each corner. I can remember so many things that have made him such an awesome dad to his children. Things that they never knew or never saw. I remember when our oldest was born, I was pretty much knocked out for a day and a half after delivery. It was just him and her...together for the first time. He nurtured her alone for the first couple of days of her life, without any question or doubt. It was what he was meant to do. When our youngest daughter was born, there were some complications and she spent several days in the NICU. He never left my side, or hers. He put himself second, for our needs. When our son was born, I saw a side of him that I had never seen before. His father was not what he needed growing up, so he had this built in determination, to be different than him. (he broke the family curse!) I remember him holding our son, and sobbing, while saying, "I love you so much!" There isn't a doubt in my mind, that he wouldn't go to the ends of the earth for his kids. He isn't too much of a man's man, that he can't get goofy with the kids, nor sentimental with them, when they need him to be. He truly desires to help them seek, find, and live out their purpose in God. Fatherhood has changed him into a whole new man, one much different than whom I married many years ago. A better man. One, that holds a different accountability than before. One, that has a deep determination to do right by his own. One, that searches out God's direction, on a daily basis to nurture, to supply needs, and to love as God would have him to. I see the confidence in his eyes, that he knows exactly who his daddy is. One, that is not afraid of personal conviction or to admit when he is wrong. I see a heart that has been changed by God's grace in his life. I see a humble man. I see a daddy, who has grown into a father. (I love you Babe!) I ask you today...who's your daddy? Whether or not your earthly father was a good dad, or a not so good dad, he is still your dad. Celebrate your dad! Appreciate his goodness! Call him up today. Start a new relationship, one without too many expectations. Just talk. Allow yourself to love as God would have you to. We all begin with God, and we will all end with God. Although, we will have earthly men come in and out of our lives, throughout our years on this earth, there is but one daddy, that will always be with us. God is it! He is the one that gave it all up for you! He made the ultimate sacrifice. He is the ultimate "daddy". Lean on Him. Allow Him to nurture you, provide your needs, and love you...like only He can. If you are a father who is reading this, Happy Father's Day to you. May your day be blessed to overflowing! Become the leader you were ordained to be over your family. Be accountable for who you were created to be. Watch God's blessings flow over your children and grandchildren. Come to know who your daddy is today...and if you don't know...it's never too late to meet Him. I ask again... Who's your daddy? Acts 17:28, "for in Him we live and move and have our being."