Sunday, October 24, 2010

In balance.

I've had this picture sitting on my shelf for a while now. It was a gift from Frankie's brother a few years ago. It's wierd how you can own something, pass by it a thousand times a month, and never really read it long enough to take it in. It becomes just a nick-nack that gets dusted from time to time. This is what the picture reads:
I was reminded of this picture today. In a wierd way...but still reminded. My dogs had been outside for a while today. It was a beautiful day, and I knew that tomorrow they would have to spend most of their day in their pet taxis, since our work and school week would presume. I let them in, and they both ran to their food and water bowls. They quickly turned around and began to jump around me. I thought that they wanted me to give them some attention, so I bent down towards them. They both began to whine at me. I did not realize that their water bowl was empty. Smokey, or Fat Boy as we call him, began to jump up towards me to get my attention. For him to jump in the big as he is...he was desperate. I turned my back to him, to grab a glass to pour them some water in their bowl. When all of a sudden, Mya (my other dog) jumped up and pushed me in my back with her two front legs. (She has rat terrier in her...I swear she has springs in her legs.) I turned around and they both barked at me. "Okay, Okay, I'm coming", I said, as I began to pour them some water in their bowl. As I watched them lap up the bowl of water, I felt bad that I had missed what they really needed from me.
You are probably trying to guess where I am going with this...
I I cause my family to have to act like my dogs, in the sense that they have to run up to me, jumping and crying out for my attention? And when they get my attention, do I miss what they are really trying to tell me? Am I not seeing what they really need from me? My mind immediately went to this picture and what the words said on it. LIFE IS ABOUT BALANCE...
Sometimes I think, even though I live with my family day in and day out, passing eachother at least a thousand times a week, that maybe I am not in tune with what they are trying to tell me or what they really need. What they really need from me...
God began speaking to my heart.
Families come with lots of needs and responsibilities. They need nurturing, they need to be fed, they need to be taken care of, they need to be taught and they need to be disciplined. But the one thing that they need the love. And comes in bunches of different ways, but the one way that they need it the in my time with them. I love my job and being able to help provide what my family needs. I love reading a good book. I love my blog and I love writing. These are all things that help create my identity. family doesn't need me to be a great employee, a devoted reader, or a writer for that matter. They'd love me if I wasn't any of those. They just need me. They need the love I give them when I am just their wife and mother. Nothing else needed...nothing fancy...just me.
Sometimes...I find myself off balance. Sometimes...I need to rearrange the things in my life to find that balance. To be perfectly honest...sometimes I don't spend enough quality time with my family. Mason made a comment the other day, "Mom, everytime I need you, you are on the computer." Ouch...that one went straight to my heart. It makes me wonder who else in the house might be feeling a little neglected and have had the same thought, but never expressed it quite like Mason did. I need to find my balance again. And yes...sometimes I need to just be ME... for me. No work, no writing, no reading, no blogging...just me. Being just a humbling place to be. It's the place where me and God first met. I was just me. Nobody's wife or mom. Just me. It's the place where I always find God, inside of me...just me. And He thinks I am pretty fabulous just being Tammy. He loves me for me! ( I know this...because He told me so.)

The fact is, the time I spend with God and my family--should out weigh everything else. That's perfect balance in a nutshell. If I do that, God will see to it that everything else lines up. If we allow Him in and put Him first...He will rearrange our lives to bring in that balance we are looking for. He is the Master Organizer!

I spent this past weekend just being ME. Just giving my family my love and attention. I spent alot of time with the kids. We had a fundraiser and watched movies on Saturday. We went to church, played at the park, and watched more movies on Sunday. I laughed more this weekend with my kids, than I have laughed in a very long time. They enjoyed their time with me...soaking up all the love that I could give them. It was the best weekend I have had in a long time.

I'm glad God reminded me of the love that my family needs from me. I'm glad I have Him to keep me straight. I'm glad that with His help...I can find that perfect balance.
Thank you God...for putting me in my place. This place. A place of balance. Thank you for every now and then...adjusting my walk, shifting my priorities, and putting my life in I may line up with You. You are truly the key that unlocks the door to ALL happiness!
I Peter 4:8 Above all else, love eachother deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.
Romans 8:6-8 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace...So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

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