My mind wants to worry, to be fearful, to be scared . But, I know better...
I know that He will get me(us) through this.I know it like I know that the sun will rise tomorrow morning. I know it like I know the sound of my children's voices...it's a familiar knowing. I know it becuase He always does. I know it because... I know I can't do it without Him. I've tried... I failed. Miserably. I've been on the verge of sinking before, in my own little ship, struggling to barrel out whatever water I could so I don't capsize and drown in my own stubbornness. He saves me everytime... Rescuing me from myself. He never forsakes me. I don't like that I doubt Him. Not. At. All. But, through my doubt, He continues to prove His love for me. I am thankful that my lack of faithfulness doesn't determine His grace. It's given in abundance. It's so undeserving. My lesson for now...humility. Tough one. But, if this is where He wants me...this is where I want to be. It's amazing, how through all the chaos and confusion, I can still hear His voice. He is definitely the One and Only calm within the storm. And though I may be being tossed about at this very moment, He calms me. He is the God of Peace. He came for me this morning... You know...my new favorite phrase, "I love that He comes for me." Well, He does. And, He did. I was in my car, at a time when I should have been at work, and on any other day I would have been. But...not today. He knew where I'd be. He knew I'd be anxious and scared...and yet, He came for me. He came in a sermon on the radio...during those few moments I was in my car, alone. He knew I would be listening. He knew I would be alone. He knew what I needed. He knew how to get my attention. He knows me so well. It was bits and pieces of things He had been showing me in the past couple of months...all wrapped up into one BIG eye opening piece of God poetry written just for me. Just for me. It was as though the sermon was written after God told the evengelist what was going on in my life and what He was doing with it. That close. That freaky. Down to the smallest insy winsy detail. Oh...He's good. He's real good. The only thing missing was my name in front of it. Nothing else. The last few sentences were the biggest revelation of it all... the icing on the cake: (words spoken by evangelist preaching in a "complainy" and "whiney" voice) "All I am is a housekeeper. All I do is clean toilets. All you are (said boldly)... is an annointed child of God!! He has plans for your life!!" F Y I...I'm a housekeeper. I clean lots of toilets. Lots. I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself lately. He knew. Yep...He came for me alright. I love that He comes for me. Even when I'm feeling sorry for myself. He always shows up, even when I don't. He teaches me lessons in the most gentle ways. He humbles me beyond words.
I know that He is in the midst of all that is going on. After all...He is the one driving this ship. All I need to know is that I AM...an annointed child of God!! He has plans for me. No wonder He is the One steering. No wonder He never shows me the map. I'd totally freak out!! He sees what I don't see. He sees what would only make me think twice of the road ahead. I have to trust Him. He desires that of me. His Glory will shine through this. It always does. In all things, He is Glory. So, for now...I sit, humbly...waiting...in awe...of His unending, unwavering, uninterrupted love for me. I'm reading a new book titled: Breaking Free by Beth Moore. Fabulous! Here is a little exerpt that has spoken to my heart this week.
"Peace comes in situations that are completely surrendered to the soveriegn authority of Christ. Sometimes when we finally give up trying to discover all the answers (there's that control issue) and decide to trust a sovereign God, unexpected peace washes over us like a summer rain. We sometimes lack peace in far less strenuous circumstances because we are not as desperate or as likely to turn them over to God."
Yep...there He is, coming for me again. He knew I would read that passage this week. He knew.
He is my summer rain...
Lord God...continue to show me that no matter what this life may bring my way, You are always with me and I am safe in your arms. Show me the way to humility and complete surrender in You. Forgive my doubt, remove it from my heart and cause me to replace it with unending trust and faith in You. Thank you Jesus for Your gift of grace and peace.
Isaiah 43:2-3 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Isreal, your Savior.
Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.