Sunday, February 20, 2011

It's all in your head.

My husband is a very "outdoorsy" guy.
He loves to be one with nature.
Hunting. Fishing. Camping. If it's outside...he's doing it. He could definitely go on that show "Survivor Man", do great... and be just as happy, if he were at home, sitting on the couch with the remote in his hand. Just as happy...or even more. He could live off the land and eat whatever it takes to survive. WHATEVER it takes. He's also cajun, which sort of explains the whole eating anything. Me? I bonded with soap, water, my bathtub, my hairdryer and A.C. way back when, and I am not willing to give that up for more than 24-48 hours. Which seems to create an issue with me, since I want to be used in the foreign mission fields. God is definitely dealing with my heart about this "spoiledness" I suffer from, because I dream of being a missionary in Africa one day. Kenya to be exact. I'm not a huge girly-girl, but I do have enough "diva" in me to create a problem if I want to be sent there. And there's this mission's trip to El Salvador, that is coming up this summer through our church, that has me salivating everytime it's mentioned, and praying desperately to go. Desperately! Yep...I'd say I have a little work to do. Any who...back to my man. Being that he is this outdoorsy kind of guy, he loves loves loves working in the yard. He does it all, cuts the grass, trims the hedges, weed eats, rakes, pulls weeds, and plants flowers. He spends hours watering the bushes. Hours. He takes it quite seriously. Which brings me to the next segment of this here conversation... He has this thing going on his head. This idea... Which he insists on sharing with the entire household. He believes that the neighbors are out to get him... Why? You ask... Because they are envious of the way HIS yard looks. His. Yard. He thinks that they are jealous of how well he takes care of our yard. He even says that they don't cut their grass, until he cuts ours...only because they are competing with him for who has the better yard. He also says that one of them is way too obsessive about their yard. (Yeh's totally them...not you...okay) Really? He walked outside yesterday and both the neighbors were cutting their grass and blowing their driveways off. He swore that they had purposely blew leaves in our driveway to make ours look bad. I told him, "Babe, it's all in your head." His response..."No, actually IT'S all in my driveway now!" Then he walked away fussing in French, and I am pretty sure he wasn't complimenting their yards. Oi Vay... And at Christmas time, he swore that they were competing with the amount of lights that we had. Seriously? Again I said, "It's all in your head sweetheart." He growled and muffled something in French...and again...I didn't catch it. (Note to self: Learn Cajun French) I don't mean to make fun of him, I do have a point, and to give credit where credit is due, I will tell you that... My husband is so full of wisdom. We are talkin' chock-a-block full. He has more knowledge in that noggin of his than I probably have in my entire body. He remembers stuff that he learned in like the 5th grade! What! I just remember lunch in the fifth grade. He remembers stuff he reads in encyclopedias, and reports he did in school, and a jeopardy show he watched when he was 15. It's crazy, but I admire that about him. I got myself a genius! So...I'm not at all dissin' his knowledge here. I'm describing something that we all have done... Created a war in our head, without RSVPing the enemy! How many times have I gone somewhere and someone, particularly a woman, looked at me in a wierd way or should I say, not with a huge grin on her face, and I immediately thought to myself, "Huh, what's wrong with her? Well...she must be jealous of me because I am so happy go lucky and she is miserable." or "Geez, she's a snooty mcfruity", or "Gosh, what's up with that lady?" Not thinking, of course...that maybe...she is just having a really bad day, and sadly, her joy has left her soul for a moment. couldn't be has to be all about me. I create a mini-war in my head with "her versus me" written all over it. I write an entire screen play in my head that isn't reality at all. It's just me...being stupid... or insecure maybe. And I justify it with my own mind, my own excuses, and alot of times, with my own christianity. When I should use compassion where God would want me to. When I should shut off the voices in my head, and put gray tape over my mouth, preventing an ugly word or scenario to leave my lips. When I should deal with my heart, instead of the enemy in my head. Just a week or so ago, I did it with my own sister. I had spent almost a week calling her and getting no answer, no call back or even a text message. I started off saying, "Awe, she is probably resting or not feeling well", then it went to, "Well, she could have at least texted back by now", then that led to, "You know I am always there for her, and she can't even answer for me. I've been calling and leaving messages for days" and that eventually led to, "Maybe she is mad at me, maybe I said something in a tone that was ugly and she is upset with me. She just took things wrong. Well, I'm not calling or texting again!", and it ended with "Whatever! I don't care!" Ridiculous the way our minds ramble on like that. She did call back. About a week later. She had been feeling really bad due to a complication with a previous surgery. She was too weak to even pick up the phone. (Yes...I felt stupid and horrible.) You see...I should have gone with my orignial instinct...stopped...and prayed for her. Applied love instead of bitterness. But no...I let the enemy of my mind have a field day. My ammo was out and I was locked, loaded and ready for war. And she was none the wiser. She didn't even know she was under attack!! How many times do our "enemies", friends or family, for that matter, not even know that they are being ambushed by us? It's because the "enemy" himself is out for us at the time, not them. If he can get us to create war instead of peace...he gets his way. Craziness. Simply craziness. I'm even ashamed to say that I have encouraged my children to do the same thing. They have all come home from school before, complaining about someone who "did them wrong" or gave them the "stank eye", as the girls call it. And what do I say? With my heart of God and my brain of wisdom..."They are probably just jealous of you because you are so friendly and pretty. Or smart." Or have the better hair, or are so good at sports...or whatever other stupid remark pops out of my mouth. I help them draw their own battle lines. Not good. Not good at all. I should be telling them, "Maybe they are just having a bad day or they had a disagreement with their parents before school. Maybe you should pray to God for them instead of talking about them." or "Maybe they just need a friend or someone to love them". Much better answer. I should be telling them, that it's all in their head...and encourage them to love instead of hate. To build up, instead of break down. To break those chains of jealousy, instead of helping them add another link and make the monster of strife stronger. I want my children to live lives filled with love and peace, not jealousy and strife. I do not want them to listen to what's always in their heads...but rather... to WHO is in their heart!

A.W. Tozer once said, "A man by his sin may waste himself, which is to waste that which on earth is most like God. This is man's greatest tragedy and God's heaviest grief."

I don't know about you, but I don't want to waste any of my time here on earth worrying about the mindless things. I've wasted so much of my time thinking of the worst, when I should be living out my best!

So...the next time, you (I) start a war with an innocent bystander in your (my) minds...stop and ask yourself, "Is this all in my head?"

I Peter 3:6 All of you, live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Proverbs 29:1 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 3:30 Do not accuse a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm. Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.


  1. OMG!!!! If I could click love it twice I would! This has got to be your BEST. POST. EVER. Thank you Thank you Thank you! Awesome! If we weren't friends already, I'd officially be stalking you!

  2. GOOD STUFF, Tammy! Gave me some frissons! (That's a Cajun word for you. You probably already know it, but if you don't, look dat up (or ask Frankie) :) ...I'm just helping with your language training.) :)
    Seriously good post. We are all so guilty and so dumb. You are so, so right. If we've learned anything, it's that everybody wrestles with their own insecurity demons, and what we're seeing... even though it looks like rudeness, etc... it's probably really just hurt. You are so wise. :) xo

  3. Oh. My. Gosh. You must have read my mind a couple times. I have so done that! It's good to know I'm not the only one. And that our Father doesn't do that to us when He doesn't hear from us for awhile. Seriously, if we are made in His image, how can we be so insecure and self centered? I have not the foggiest. You are awesome, and I agree with Jodie. So wise.


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