They said the word "contrairto"... something or other...what's that? (Please don't quote me, I'm clueless on it) I don't even know how to spell it or pronounce it, and I felt too stupid to even ask what it was.
They said words that I never even heard of.The perfectionist in me was revealing it's monsterous head. I was getting agitated and frustrated with myself. I was slowly getting super stressed. I began to sweat profusely, which I know that my friend noticed standing next to me, but she was really nice not to mention it. My heart began to beat fast and I felt like I was going to crack. The enemy and his trifling self, began to whisper lies of disbelief and discouragement into my ear. "You can't do this. What makes you think you are qualified for this?" I wondered, "Maybe I shouldn't even be here." My heart began to sink... I closed my eyes and prayed as I sang, "Oh God, help me Lord. How can I not get this? This is what I do. This is all I know and all I have ever done. Please help me Jesus." When all of a sudden...the choir leader stopped the singing. As the pianist played softly in the background, she began to pray out loud... "Lord we thank You for allowing us here today to sing worship to You. Help us to remember that this is not about parts or singing perfectly God, or even hitting all the right notes, it's all about praising You in unison. It's about worshiping You God. Worshiping You from our hearts." His presence filled the room. As she prayed, tears began to swell up in my eyes. I knew God was seeing me struggle through it. I knew He had just heard my cry for help and needed to remind me that it was all about Him, not about all the details, not about me and what I could or couldn't do...just Him. Only Him. You know when you have those tears and you are just about to lose it, then someone touches you or wraps their arms around you...causing you to just lose it completely. You lose all sense of "keeping it together". Well...I lost it. Big time! My sweet friend saw me struggling and she wrapped her arm gently around me. The floodgates opened wide and I began to cry. Causing my Vicotria's Secrets Long Lash mascara to leak down my cheeks right there in the middle of the choir room. It wasn't pretty. But...it was what I needed. He was breaking me of myself, my disbelief, and my pride. He was reminding me that it was all about Him. After we prayed, we began to sing again. Peace enveloped me. I closed my eyes, silently thanking Him for giving me yet another reason to sing His praise! Yet another reason to worship Him! worship- to love unquestioningly, show devotion, a feeling of profound love and admiration.
Our music leader went on to say, that when we worship Him with our singing, it causes Him to stop, to listen...taking our praise into His heart.
What an awesome thing...that our worship causes the Host of the Heavenlys, The Creator of All, The Lord of our heart to stop and take notice of us. He is awed by our worship!There is a song that goes: "Nothing will stop me from my worship, because that is what I was created for." Not to sing perfectly. Not to hit all the notes. Not to know all there is to know. Just to worship. Just worship.
So many times, we get caught up in trying to be THE best at something, that it prevents us from just giving OUR best.
I am at MY best...when I worship Him.
Can't wait for choir rehearsal next week! (big smiley face)
Just keep singing!Psalm 103:1 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 142:3 When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You who knows my way.