Proverbs 24:3-4 Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.
I carried items out of my house one by one, and placed them underneath the carport. With a deep sigh and a hesitant heart, I put price tags on them.
As I walked inside, I saw the three faces of my children filled with sadness, as they watched parts of our life be sold.
It's just things.
I know that.
They know that.
And it's all a part of the process.
But, this process has made me question God at times.
Question His motives.
He placed us in this home two years ago this past April. We moved from a smaller home into this much larger one. Now, due to circumstances out of our control, we are moving back to the smaller home.
I know it's for the best, and my husband and I feel in our hearts that this is what God wants for us.
But, the details are the things that I find hard to cope with.
The packing up our lives...again.
The starting over.
I pack boxes and place furniture, in the smaller house in my sleep.
I paint...in my sleep.
I pray...in my sleep.
It's been overwhelming at times.
And although, there is a certain sadness in it all, I know that He is our hope during this time.
I know that He is in all things, good or bad, big or small, joyous or sad.
He is in it all.
I've been reading alot of the blogs that I follow lately. I had been busy and had fallen behind in my reading. So, I took some time and caught up on them this past week. Each one, has ministered to me in a different way. Each one, encouraging me to keep moving forward.
One in particular, that I read a week or so ago said,
We serve the God who is in the business of bringing life from death. He resurrects what we see as long gone. He is life!
That is what gives me hope.
That although I feel that things are dying around me, He will bring life from it.
He will bring beauty from ashes.
My youngest daughter has been having a really hard time with us moving. She has been angry and in denial of the whole process. She has spent many moments, since we told them of the move, crying and alone in her room, sitting amongst the ashes of her life. Yesterday, we spent the day painting her room...just her and I. At first, she was hesitant and I could see her holding back some heavy emotions. But, as the day moved on, I saw a glimpse of a smile here and there. She began to voice different ideas about what she wanted to do in the room once we moved in. She even giggled once or twice. We were about half way through painting her room, when her brother walked in and grabbed a paint brush.
With her faced filled with fury she said, "Put down that brush! This is my room...now GET OUT!!
Now normally, I would do a quick wardrobe change into my referee costume, blow my whistle and try to make peace between the two, but all I could do was smile.
It made me so happy.
It was the first time she had called it "her room" again.
The first time she had taken ownership of it.
I could see LIFE in the midst of her brokenness.
I could see a little beauty from the ashes.
I could see her waving the white flag and surrendering to it all.
Surrendering to what would be her future.
That...gives me hope.
Hope that we will all be just fine.
Hope for our future.
I'm glad she is surrendering to the idea of moving and starting a new life in our new/old home. It will bring her one step closer to Him.
Because when we surrender completely to Him, it is at that moment, that He gives us His all.
I believe we will see great things in this move.
I believe that this is a new beginning for all of us in Him.
It's time to move on.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to give you hope and a future, not to harm you."
Psalm 142:3 When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You who knows my way.
Deuteronomy 32:4 He is the Rock. His works are perfect, and all His ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He.