Sunday, June 27, 2010
Open the floodgates!
All the blogs that I have written sit in a dark blue binder. I keep them, because they are a piece of me. They are moments in time, that I have chosen to write about, that have had significance effect on my life, my growing. It is my life on paper. I sat down with the binder yesterday, to pick out some key points in my blogs, to copy into the book I am writing. I noticed how short the first blogs that I wrote were. Maybe a paragraph or two. I noticed that as time goes by, the blogs seem to get longer. I figured it had to be one of two reasons: 1. I have grown out of my shyness, and now I don't know when to shut up, or 2. Now that I have allowed God to knock some stubborn walls down, He is truly opening the flood gates to my heart. After contemplating those two options...I have settled on the second reason. (ok...maybe its about 10% of number one) If you don't know anything of how a flood gate works (which I didn't really, until now), I will explain the concept to you. (if you do know..bare with me and my ignorance for a moment or two) A flood gate is an adjustable gate used to control water flow in rivers, streams, or levee systems. It also holds back debris from flowing into the specific area of water. It serves as a barrier. I had built a flood gate in my heart. An adjustable gate, that I could open a little here and there, when I needed to let a little pressure out. Kind of like when you have eaten a huge supper, probably more than you should have. Your stomach is bloated and full of pressure. You slowly unbutton the top button on your jeans, careful not to touch the zipper, so not to allow the zipper to quickly open and reveal your overly full abdominal area. (Who wants to see that?) I had a bloated heart. One that was cresting...about to explode with emotion. Little did I know, it was also filling up with debris. The junk from my past. I had to open the gates. Flood gates are mentioned several times in the Bible. Each time it is when referring to the "flood gates of Heaven", when the rains or blessings poured down from God. The openness of Heaven is something that we can not imagine with our earthly minds. Its vastness, can only be seen, one day, in our heavenly form. But, I do think we can feel and see glimpses of heaven. When God began to slowly open up the flood gates to my heart...it was like He was opening me up to the heaven I needed to see. His vision for me was revealed. I can see myself as He sees me now. I am no longer drowning in the sorrows of my heart. The splinters that were left from the debris, are slowly being removed by Jesus' love in my life. The rains are cleansing my soul. There is room for my heart to feel again, to breathe, to take on new emotions, to love freely as God intended for me to do. It was as though, my heart was spilling over with "stuff" that I needed to release to Him. Stuff that was just piling higher and higher, only leaking out a little at a time. The pressure had mounted and it was time to open the gates. What a feeling! The exuberance. The release. The freedom. The healing. The forgiveness. The revelation. The love. There is nothing like feeling the rains pour down over you, bringing you healing from the inside out. There is nothing...like the love of our Savior. Dear God...continue to show me that you are my great release. You have opened up the floodgates to my soul and brought in the cleansing waters of your love. Open the flood gates, and let the rain pour down! Jeremiah 29:13-14, "Seek me and find me, when you search for me with all your heart, I will be found by you says the Lord." Psalm 40:8, "I delight to do Your will, O my God; yes, Your law is within my heart."