The "Don't Wants"

I have to admit, that lately, I have had the "don't wants". You know the feeling? You just don't want to do anything. Nothing looks appealing. Nothing looks worth the effort. Your in a rut! Everything is sort of "blah". Your only desire is to do ...zilch! Yep...that's me. I got the "don't wants". Except, I did have the desire for one thing...a big ole' pity party! No one would throw me one, so I threw one for myself. I got out the decorations, invited sorrow, misery and depression, took out a huge bucket to put my tears in, and put on my "feel sorry for me" hat. I was ready! I was very dissapointed to only have three guests show up for the festivities...me, myself and I. That's it. No other takers. I was shocked....and embarassed. The biggest issue of it all...was that my "don't wants" were in my spiritual walk. Yep. Extremely embarassed. I know. Shocking for me to say of all people...right? I mean, I write a blog...a spiritual, uplifting blog. Me? The "don't wants"? But, there I was...very low in my walk and full of the "don't wants". I began to feel low, because I think that somewhere, along the way...I forgot to hope. My faith was shaken. My efforts and works, in a certain area, just weren't producing the results I needed to see at "that very moment", so I lost my desire to want to do them. They became like a ritual, instead of a want. They were just routine, instead of from my heart. You see, God wants us to be obedient, and do His will, but He wants our heart to be in it. He doesn't want us to just go with the motions...without any emotion at all. He wants to see our passion in all the things He asks us to do. He wants us to have faith in knowing that even when we can't see an outcome, He already has our next steps planned out. I can turn the pedals on a bicycle with my hands and make the wheels go very fast, but I won't get anywhere. But, if I hop on it in anticipation, applying the life of my moving muscles and beating heart to it, then I can go anywhere! If I don't fully apply my heart and my will to do the works of God, I will be left standing still, going nowhere at all. But, if I apply all of my heart, all of my will, all of my faith, and all my desire...He will take me to new heights that I can't even imagine. He promises that to us!! The fact of the matter is, I quit seeing results because, I blinded myself with my own disbelief. I lost my faith. "It will never get better! I am going to be miserable forever! What's the use! I can't take this anymore! I'm tired of the same ole, same ole! I'm tired of doing the right thing! I want someone else to do the right thing for a change! I'm done waiting for the good to come! I'm tired! I'm exhausted! I'm done!" Yep...that was all me. I just talked myself right off that bicycle seat. I went to church service this past Sunday morning. The sermon was about Joshua and the walls of Jericho. God told Joshua to have the Israelites march around the city walls of Jericho. He promised them that they would conquer the city. They listened in obedience, their hearts toward God. They marched one day. They marched two days. They marched three days. They began to doubt. But they marched, with their hearts toward God. They marched four days. They marched five days. They marched six days. Nothing. They were mocked. They began to feel defeated. But still again...they kept their hearts on God. And on the seventh day...they marched and began to shout and praise God! Those walls...came tumbling down!! Needless to say...they conquered the city as God had promised them. What if...they would have given up? What if they had lost their faith in the middle of the marching? What if...they would have gotten a case of the "don't wants"? Would they have conquered the city? Better yet.. who would have conquered them?

We are going to have moments of doubt, but when that doubt causes our faith to be shaken, it causes us to stop. Dead in our tracks! Fear and disbelief will grow into sorrow and misery. We will be left motionless, depressed, and sitting alone...wearing a "feel sorry for me" hat. It's not worth it. Be steadfast in your faith! Feed it everyday! Encourage yourself to keep going, pushing those pedals fast and hard! Put a sign on the door of your heart that reads, "DOUBT, DISBELIEF, SORROW, MISERY AND DEPRESSION! YOU ARE NOT INVITED HERE! PARTY CANCELLED!"

I don't want to be conquered. I don't want my faith to be shaken. I don't want to lose sight of the One who I am here to serve. I don't want to be defeated by my own stubbornness. I don't want to lose hope. I don't want to stop pedaling with all my heart and might. I don't want to be in the presence of my God one day, and have to say that I didn't do all that I could do, because I got too tired. I don't want to give up marching, when my day of reckoning and rejoicing is just around the corner. I don't want to give up! I don't want to quit!

You see...there are two types of "don't wants". The kind that makes you say, "I don't want to keep going". Or the kind that makes you say, "I don't want to stop believing". What type do you have today?

Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see."

Romans 10:17, "Faith comes by hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ."

Matthew 17:20, He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."