I walked into Mason's room and kissed him on the forehead and simply said,
"Mommy loves you."
I walked back to my room, and began to read my book.
Thoughts invaded my mind.
I fought back the tears as I tried to read the words on the page, to distract my mind from what had happened a few moments before.
I'm hard on myself.
Probably more than I should be.
I struggle with being the perfect mom.
Or at least something close to it.
That's why I take it to heart when I do those crazy things.
It's unrealistic thinking on my part.
I fear being my mother, yet the total opposite isn't reality.
So, I try my best to float and drift somewhere in the middle of what I perceive to be, crazy and perfect.
I have to remind myself that it's okay to make mistakes.
God is there for me each time I try to get it right.
And He doesn't leave me when I can't.
He's there to look this ostrich in the face and say,
"You're forgiven. It's okay. Now pick up your head and start over."
That I can do.
I can start over.
I found this the other day at A Deeper Story.
It blessed me beyond words.
I hope it blesses you.
He saved me.
He loves me.
He leads me.
He wants me.
He sees me.
He has purpose for me.
He is taking care of it.
He doesn't need me.
He forms the hearts of all men.
He is responsible.
He will have vengeance.
He is faithful when I am faithless.
He is first.
He is all.
He makes us new again.
He reaches down and sweeps us back into heaven.
He infuses value and worth and purpose and a mission into my very core.
He is God.
And I am not.
Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people? You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love.