Tuesday, November 8, 2011

the UNbucket list


I am normally a leader, but in this one incidence I choose to be a follower.
I saw this on a friend's blog and thought I would have a little fun, and possibly give you a little laugh...the best gift ever!


This is my UNbucket list:
The list of things I DO NOT want to do before I die.
Do. Not.
No way, not gunna do!!
  
Enjoy...
the unbucket list
The list of no-nos before I go-go.

*House a family of raccoons.
Did you know they travel in herds?  Blehck...makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

*Wear a pair of black leather biker pants.
 I break out in hives with just the thought.
 Plus, they are not made for bodacious booty broads...tis I.

*Participate in an eating challenge on Survivor.
 I throw up in my mouth just watching it on t.v. 

*Wax my eyebrows or any other part of my body.
 I will take my pain unvoluntarily, thank you.

*Pierce my tongue. or lip. or nose. or eyebrow. or anything above or below the waist.
 I think that about covers it.


*Make friends with an anoconda.
Need I say more?

*Walk on hot coals.
I work too hard on keeping my toenails looking nice and dainty, for them, or my flesh, to melt off in that ferocious heat.

*Get a colonoscopy.
 I will fight this to the death!

*Participate in the Mrs. America pageant.
It's something I've been wrestling with for a while.

*Swim with sharks.
I'll leave that for the professionals and the insane.

*Break a limb anywhere on my body and have to wear a cast.
Those things are a hotel for germs.


*Grow a full mustache.
No comment.


*Get Botox injections.
Needles in my face? next to my eyes?  I'll have to pass...



*Be listed on America's Most Wanted television show.
Incognito is my middle name.


*Become a sword swallower.
See comment on "swim with sharks".



*Wear this outfit...in public.


I mean, come on, Fozzie Bear would go much better with my brown eyes.



*Skydive.


Because when I puke, it's going to blow right in that's guys face, and that's just rude.
I am not rude.



For a little bonus,
I asked my children to give me one thing on their unbucket list.

Kaitlyn:

*To be seen by a dinosaur.
 Cuz, if they see you, you have no time to run.  It's all over!


Mason:

*Bunji jumping from a bridge.
Because sometimes I'm scared of heights.



What's on your unbucket list?
I'd love to hear it.
Leave a comment below!


2 comments:

  1. that list is so thorough, and i can't even believe i left colonoscopy off my list! how did that get by me?

    waxing eyebrows is not so bad. piercing the tongue is as bad as it sounds.

    i LOVED your remark about the miss america pageant!

    ohmygosh and those eating contests on survivor (or fear factor or the amazing race)... my stomach wants to escape my body through my mouth! i can't even LISTEN to those things -- i hear the gagging and then **I** start the gagging... it's the very opposite of a good time for me.

    and really, i'm with you on the no-kermits. green is not my color either. now bacon... i could wear bacon. it really brings out my eyes, i think.

    i'm so glad you did this - it was great fun to read.

    oh, and kaitlyn is right-o! smart girl. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Item #1 on my unbucket list:
    To shove my babies back where they came from.

    ReplyDelete

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