Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Regurgitate your old ways.
Today's blog is different from all the others that I have written, in that, it isn't my writing at all. My seventeen year old daughter is one of the most talented writers that I know. She wrote this a few days ago after an unforgettable experience in her life. I asked her if I could share it with you...and she said yes. Enjoy! Regurgitate your old ways. Mkay, so this is going to sound a tad gross, but bear with me, there's a point. So, a few days ago, I went to this amaziing competition called Fine Arts. As always with any public performance, I was extremely nervous. For two and a half weeks. I fasted all junk food out of my life, to help me by the time Fine Arts came. I wanted God and I to have an even more intimate relationship because I knew that worship music was something he used me for, and I was scared I would make it about me. The fast did wonders in my spiritual life and physical life. I dropped pant sizes. I felt so much more energetic. My face cleared up. I was tempted to eat junk constantly, but something inside me said you don't need that. I decided the start of Fine Arts, that I would quit my fast. When the first day came, I ate junk food all day. I was so full, I felt sick. Even though I had looked forward to it for so long, it didn't really taste that good, and honestly, it didn't make me feel good. The second day of Fine Arts, I went to the sanctuary with my youth group. It was performance day. I was nauseous. I felt like my heart was going to come out of me, it was beating so fast. All we were doing was going over the schedule, and still I was nervous about my performance, which wasn't for another few hours. As I looked around, I thought, "God, this is me and you". Then, I prayed, "Please take this nervousness away. I feel like I am going to throw up. Please give me relief so I can do this." About a split second later, I threw up in my hands. Disgusting right? I was so embarassed. No one even noticed though, I quickly cleaned up. Then, after I was clean, I realized something amazing. Relief. I didn't feel nervous, scared, or anything. I felt peace. I honestly believe my body was angry with me for feeding it junk food. It had been used of the real stuff for so long, that it refused to accept junk food without making me sick. The night that followed, worship was amazing. God moved me in a powerful way. I was in a fetal position, with a friend holding me as I just cried everything out. As I sat in reverance, I had a thought pass through my head. It was...why don't I just let everything out every day? All of the junk in my life that I keep holding onto is making me sick. It makes me scared. It makes me pull away from God. It makes me unhealthy in my spirit. When I go after things that God never intended for me to have, I go into a place where I need to just give up. I need to say, "Empty me of this filth Jesus." Even though it will be uncomfortable for awhile, as it's coming out, I need it gone because I know the peace and the relief, that comes with your spirit forcing sin to leave. Regurgitate your old ways. Stop eating the junk of the world. You won't regret it. Psalms 51:10, "Create in me a clean heart, Oh God. Renew a right spirit within me."