Monday, September 17, 2012

I can do this!

Joshua 1:9b
I've commanded you to be strong and brave. Don't ever be afraid or discouraged! I am the LORD your God, and I will be there to help you wherever you go.
 One week from today,
 I will stand on a stage and speak to hundreds of women for about five minutes.

It's our Night of Pink for Breast Cancer awareness and I've been asked to speak to the women about the importance of early detection and share a personal story on breast cancer.

That may not seem like a lot of time or a big deal at all...
but for me, it's a huge deal.

I'm pretty good at putting words together and sharing my life...
on this laptop,
hiding behind my screen,
with the noise of just my fingers tapping the keys,
alone in the privacy of my home.

Speaking in public...
well that's another story.
These are waters I've never tread before, much less even put my toes into.

God put it on my heart a few months back that He was going to be moving me away from the comfort of my laptop and having me share my stories in person with others.

About a year ago I had a dream that I was speaking in front of hundreds of women.

Although I believed that the dream was from God, I never imagined it would be this soon or in the way that I will be speaking next week.

God always has a leg up on us...always.

I keep pumping myself up saying,
"This is what God has called you to do, even if for this one moment, don't bail out on Him now. You got this and He's got you."

I keep praying that He speak through me.
That His voice be heard, not my own.

But that word fear creeps in and I lose myself in the anxiety of it all.
I see myself standing there with shakey legs and not being able to get the words out.
My tummy gets all wishy washy and my heart beats fast.
Questions of doubt have had their way with my mind.
I've feared the worst.

I've even had moments where I've asked God, just as Moses did...

"Lord, can you send someone to speak for me? I'm not good with words. I get lost in them and my lisp comes out when I'm nervous. Can you send me an Aaron?  If just for this one time."
(Exodus 4:10-17)

I laugh it off as I tell this to one of my closest friends,
but in all honesty...
it's how I feel.
I'm scared of this unknown water.

And then I read my email and every post I read has to do with facing fears.

The titles themselves speak volumes to me...

"When you don't believe you can do it"

"Taking that leap of faith"

"It's okay if you're scared silly"

One post that I read said,
 "Don’t listen to the voices that want to steal your wings. You were given wings for a purpose; use them."

I open my Bible and every scripture has to do with walking in God's strength...

Psalm 44:3
They did not conquer the land with their swords;
it was not their own strong arm that gave them victory.
It was Your right hand and strong arm
and the blinding light from Your face that helped them,
for You loved them.

II Timothy 1:7
God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Then my sweet friend wrote a blog post today on a book we are studying, and she spoke about fear saying...

"Fear is a powerful spirit. A spirit that holds many of us captive not only with the threat of illness but with going forth in what God is calling us to do."
She went on to say how we most often give our fear more credit than we do God.
This really spoke to me.
(You may read her post here at Joli Blog.)
All this time,
I've been speaking into my fear giving it life, 
 instead of speaking to my fear and telling it how big God is,
causing it to die.

I've allowed my fear to scare me into doing what God has called me to do.
I've let the voice of fear steal my wings.

I've forgotten...that when I am weak, He is strong.
That what I think of as impossible, He sees as possible.
That my little fear has nothing on His huge strength!

He reminded me this morning about Moses and what He did through him.
He led God's people out of captivity and into freedom!
He performed countless miracles through Moses!
His fear had no match on God's power to do great things!

I hear you God...I hear You.

Loud. and. clear.

Although I don't always believe in myself,
I do believe in the One who is guiding me to the water.

So, I'm going to do this...
knowing that God is not only going to be with me, but He has already gone before me!

I'm going to put my toes in the water of this new journey and let God be God.

With God as my courage...I can do this!

"I'll be with you," God said. "And this will be the proof that I am the One who sent you: When you have brought my people out of Egypt, you will worship God right there at this very mountain."
Deuteronomy 9:1-3
Hear, oh Israel, You are about to cross the Jordan to go in and dispossess nations greater and stronger than you, with large cities that have walls up to the sky. The people are strong and tall – Anakites! You know about them and have heard it said: “Who can stand up against the Anakites?” But be assured today that the Lord your God is the one who goes across ahead of you like a devouring fire. He will destroy them, he will subdue them before you.   

 Please join us for a great night of fun and fellowship!

Night of Pink
Friday, September 28th at 6:30 pm at Crossroads Church in Lafayette.

It's a free event honoring and celebrating ladies in our community who have battled breast cancer.

Bring a friend!



  1. I know that you can do this. It is going to liberate you in a way that you cannot now imagine! I am so excited for you. Love you!

  2. Girl, you know you can do this! I know you can do this! And, trust me, I've been there and felt the exact same way. I promise you once you take that first step, God will show up. Kick that fear in the face. I know everyone will love you as much as I do.

    Can't wait!

  3. Hi. I clicked on here to see if you had posted anything and read your testimony about your marriage. I am choked up. I just felt God presence wash over me while I read it. I love how God restores us to a place of beauty from ashes. I love that you guys held on all be it barely and probably wondering why at times. But you did and instead of being a statistic you are a living breathing testimony of Gods grace. How is sufficient. Our marriage too went through the fire about 6 years ago and so we have such a heart to see marriages be at their best. To shine for Christ. Not perfect, flawed but steadfast. Life is hard but God is so good. As we struggle to keep a marriage ministry alive at our church I just wanted to say thank you for the reminder that people are hurting and we have to stand up for marriages. To keep the family unit together. Your testimony is so, so good. :)


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