Thursday, May 20, 2010

Where's my pause button!!

Proverbs 14:29, "He who is slow to anger has great understanding. But he who is quick tempered exalts folly." This week I had one of the longest days of my life. It was one of those days that everything seem to go wrong. I'll give you a quick low down; I burnt my ear with the straightener first thing in the morning, walked outside and my nicely straightened hair poofed up in all different directions...immediately! I then went to work, walked into my job and grabbed the coffee pot, to get some coffee... there was none! Zilch! That in itself, was enough to throw me over the edge of hysteria! I put some dishes washing in the dishwasher, only realizing two hours later, that it was broken, and all the dishes were still dirty. I dropped a glass candle, which proceded to shatter, in at least a million pieces on the floor, while at the same time shooting upward and cutting my legs. I looked as though I had just finished shaving, walking around with tiny pieces of kleenex sticking to my legs. I left work, later than hoped for, only to realize that I had errands to run. Geesh! Will this day ever end? I had to go to, the ever dreaded, WalMart. We all know, that when you go to WalMart, to run in for two things, you somehow come out with a buggy full of stuff, an hour later. Well, they were out of the "two" things I went there for, so I picked up a few groceries we needed. After spending fifteen minutes in the line waiting to check out, I heard the cashier say, "Maam, my register is closed." Are you kidding me? It was at that very moment, that I knew, Ashton Kutcher was going to pop out of the men's bathroom, laughing and shouting that I was being "punked". Wishful thinking. Not to mention, it was almost seven o'clock, and American Idol was about to start. I was going to miss it! This would have been the perfect moment for a "pause" button. Giving myself enough time to....inhale...exhale. But, I could'nt find it!! I'm not sure where my parents put the owner's manual for me, but apparently, I must not have come with one. I've looked everywhere, and I can't find it. So, my frustration by this point was at it's limits. I still had a few errands to run. I was tired and everything. Not only that, I wanted everyone to know it. So, I began letting my family know, which I thought at the time, was pretty nice on my part. My poor little family. They received the brunt of all my anger and frustration. The night was long and loud, probably because of my screaming at everyone, about everything. It was late and time to head to bed. I definitely needed a "time out". I decided to open a book I had been reading. I opened it, read the last page to a chapter, and turned the page to start the next chapter. The title of the new chapter was, "Interview your anger". It was at that precise moment, that my entire day flashed before me. It took only a millisecond. Wow...and the way that I had taken it out on my family. I was embarassed. I wanted to stick my head in a hole like an ostrich. I felt ashamed and riddled with guilt. If I had only found that "pause" button I had been looking for. If I had only found it way earlier. If I had only stopped, taken a deep breath, and...prayed. There it pause button! Prayer is my pause button! If I had only stopped, long enough to analyze my frustration, and pray myself through the rest of the day. Instead, I just added more anger to the melting pot inside of me. This wasn't the first bad day I have ever had, nor the last. I just need to learn to pause...take a moment with God, and let Him feel my frustration with me. Let Him fill me with His wisdom. I must remember that in every weakness I have, He will bring His strength into it. In His presence, I will find His joy and His strength. I will find peace in the midst of all my havoc. There I will find... my pause button. II Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him."

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