Wherever it takes me.

 

 

 

 

 

Galatians 5:7

You were running a good race.  Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the One who calls you.  "A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough."  I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty.

 

 

Something happened a few weeks ago, that really had my heart wrecked.

 

It caused me to be an emotional mess for several days.

 

I reached sort of a crossroad in an area of my life.

 

A decision had to be made.

A hard decision.

A tough decision.

One that involved people that I care deeply about.

One that would effect many people I love.

One that could hurt friendships.

 

The feelings it caused me to have were out of my character and I didn't know where it was all coming from or how to sort through them.

 

It made me physically sick. I was a wreck.

 

The thing is...I didn't like the decision I had to make.

Even though I knew it was the one I was supposed to make, I still struggled with it.

 

I began to question:

People may be mad at me?

They may not like me anymore?

It may make me look like a bad person?

 

All the questions that it raised were all about me and how the outcome would effect me.

 

I had to stop myself. I had to pray about it. Really, really pray and seek God's direction.

 

Peace began to fill my heart as God showed me that the decision I was making, wasn't about me at all. There was a greater purpose within it and I didn't need to know what it was just yet. All I needed to do was to obey the call on my heart to make the decision.

 

The heart confusion that I was feeling was me fighting my own flesh to obey the call.  The enemy began to bring confusion in from all directions. Opinions from others began to try and sway me. My mind swirled with the question of the unknown.

 

 

I'd been studying the book of Exodus for several weeks.  God reminded me of Moses and how he too struggled with obeying the call that God had given him.  He begged God to pick someone else. Someone who was stronger.  Someone who was more qualified.  He feared that he would be made fun of, or disliked, or not be understood. His heart was wrecked. He was an emotional mess.

 

I get it, Moses, I totally get it.

 

I started this year with three words.  God gave them to me right before the new year began.

 

"Boldness to Obey"

 

That's it.

 

I began to let the words seep into my heart and spirit.

 

I prayed,

"God, give me the boldness to obey You. To do whatever you ask. No matter what that might look like. More of you, God. Less of me.  "

 

Lo and behold...there I was, just a few weeks later, in a tough situation where I needed to have the boldness to obey.

 

I (we) decided to obey Him, no matter the cost, no matter the outcome, trusting His guidance.

 

Will people be mad at me? Probably.

Will they not like me anymore? Maybe.

Will it make me look like a bad person? Most likely.

That part is difficult. It feels good to be loved, and liked, and cherished, and thought of as good. I'm just learning that you can have all of those things with someone and not necessarily have them agree with all of your decisions and vise versa. That too, can be difficult.

 

God never promised that the call on our life would be easy. He never said we'd have an audience of applause waiting for us. He promised blessing with obedience. His blessing.

He said it would be worth it, and it will not go unfinished.

 

 

Philippians 1:6

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Moses obeyed.

He lost friends. He lost the only family he had ever known. He spent years alone in the wilderness.  People thought he was a little nuts.  People didn't understand. 

People didn't like him anymore.

 

But, that decision to obey, whether difficult or easy, or full of doubt and fear of the future...

led to the deliverance of hundreds of thousands of people into the Promised Land.

 

All God needed was his obedience.

Not his understanding.

Just his obedience.

 

The thing is...God didn't just lead Moses, He loved Moses. He protected Moses.

 

I truly want the boldness to obey.

I want to go wherever He leads.

Whatever that looks like...I want to obey.

 

Psalm 138:8

The LORD will vindicate me; your love, LORD, endures forever-- do not abandon the works of your hands.

 

God has shut a door for us. 

It took me by surprise.

I didn't see it coming.

He has asked us to keep the door shut. Not to open it until His timing is perfect. I'm not sure when that will be. Or if it will ever be.

 

But, I trust Him.  I fully trust His good for us. For our children. For our family.  I trust that His love for us will never waver. I trust that He will protect us. I trust Him to right the wrongs. I trust that He is all knowing. He sees the picture in its entirety. I see but a glimpse.   And even in my moments of doubt, or question, or fear, I want to obey Him.

 

His LOVE is all I need. It outweighs anything this world can offer.

 

It's always enough and I want to go wherever it takes me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



New Year's Extravaganza! Goodbye 2012!

 

 

Welcome to my New Year's Extravaganza!

I'm saying "So long, it's been swell" to 2012,
and "Well hello there beautiful" to 2013!

 

It has been yet another great year and there is so much I am thankful for.
So much!
2012 was filled with many firsts for me and I am so blessed to be on the
 journey God has set out for my life.
It's quite the adventure.
  It truly is unbelievable how much He loves me.

He has totally rocked my world this past year,
but in the best of ways.

One of the biggest things that happened is that
I turned 40.

Yep, the big 4-0.

You're probably saying to yourself...
"You, 40? No way. You can't be a day over 38 1/2."

I know right. Unbelievable.

I believe my 40s are going to be A-MA-ZA-ZING!

2012 was also filled with many new friendships.

You can't ever, ever, ever have too many friends.
They are like gold!
Like. Gold.
Treasure them, all of them.

Some of my new friends I actually met here on my blog.
They are either readers or fellow bloggers.

They are the sweetest of ladies and I am so blessed by their friendship!

The other ladies that I have grown close to this year are through our
Joli Women's Ministry at my church.
These women have truly blessed my socks off and I am blessed to work alongside them throughout the year.
(You know who you are.)

It has been an honor to be a part of what God is doing in the hearts of women and I am in great expectation of what He is going to do in 2013.

I thought I would recap 2012 with naming some of my favorite things about this year.
I could probably name 100 things, but seriously...
who has time for that?

So, I narrowed it down to ten.

 

Hold on to your seats ladies and gents!

It's going to be great!

 

Drum roll please...

 

 

1. My favorite book of 2012-

 

Life of Pi

A fantasy adventure novel by Yann Martel

 

 

2. My favorite movie of 2012-

 

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

or

Life of Pi

 

 

3. Favorite television show of 2012-

 

Parenthood

 (Seasons 1, 2, 3 & now 4)

 

4. My favorite song of 2012-

 

Angel by Your Side

by Francesca Battistelli

 

 

5. My favorite restaurant of 2012-

 

The Melting Pot

(A fondue paradise!)

 

 

6. My favorite adventure of 2012-

(I have two.)
 

Flying for the first time.

 or
Sharing part of my testimony with hundreds of women at my church.
 

 

7. My favorite moment of 2012-

 

Watching my son be water baptized and declaring his love for Jesus.

 

 

8. My favorite quote of 2012
(I have two)
 

Hate is easy; love takes courage.
~~unknown
 

If my life is fruitless, it doesn't matter who praises me.

And if my life is fruitful, it doesn't matter who criticizes me.

~~John Bunyan

 

9. My favorite scripture verse of 2012-

 (Again, I have two.)

Ephesians 1:7
He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom
with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.
 

Psalm 34:18

If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;

If you're kicked in the gut, He'll help you catch your breath.

 

 

10. My favorite food or beverage discovery of 2012-

 

New Orleans Old Fashioned Eggnog used as coffee creamer.

(Oh man, it tastes like heaven!)

 

 

 

I also thought I would share my top ten most viewed blog posts for 2012.

 

Thank you for making 2012 such a great year for

Finding the SONlight!

 

I so much enjoy sharing my life and heart here with all of you!
If you have time, recap the list of blogs below.

My personal favorite is The man that walks the streets.
 

 (Just click the title and it will take you to that particular post)

 

1. I'm over it.

 

2. Do it afraid.

 

3. The man that walks the streets.

 

4. Across the ocean blue.

 

5. Dying to live.

 

6. Full circle.

 

7. The perfect friend.

 

8. Even when my heart is in Romania.

 

9. You lead and I'll do my best to keep up.

 

10.  The gift of gathering.

 

There you have it...

some of my favorite things and the most viewed

blog posts of 2012!

 

 And now...
for the BIG finale!

I did my first GIVEAWAY over the past few weeks,
and although I didn't get the response I was hoping for...I do have a winner!

The winner of this giveaway gets a new copy of
Francine Rivers'
Redeeming Love

The winner is Rondah S!!

Congratulations to YOU!!


I believe that 2013 will be even better than 2012.

I am ready for whatever comes my way.

Thanks again for making this blog worth writing!

 

What about you?

 

What made 2012 so wonderful for you?

 

I'd love to know!

 

 

Happy New Year!

 

 

 





Not our will...

 

 

 

Praying this anthem over our family and home

 while the new year approaches...

 

as God continues to change our lives

and bring us closer to Him.

 

 

"Here we stand our hearts are Yours,

not our will,

but Yours be done."

 

 

 

May you have a happy and blessed weekend!

 

 



Resolution-smution!

So here we are...2012.

Another year begins.

This is the time that we all make resolutions and begin a new something or other.

Not I.
I'm here to lead the revolt!

I say...Resolution-smution!!

I'm not dedicated to making resolutions, mostly because I never stick with them.

I'm not good at the resolutions thing at all.

My dedication is definitely lacking.

Case in point...it's the 5th of January and I'm just thinking about resolutions all together.

Isn't that what New Year's Day is for?

Ya see... not good at all.

I've done many, so called resolutions in the past, but never seemed to stick with them past a week, or maybe even past the first 24 hours.

Which then would throw me into the whole,
 "I'm such a loser!  I can't commit to anything! Oh me, oh my!  Woe is me! I'm a horrible mess! Someone save me from my resolution disability!" pity party.

Then I wallow and cry in the fact that my ship has sailed and I am now a permanent resident in Loserville.


It. aint. purty.


I've done all sorts of resolutions, and seem to fall short every time.
I've even made a resolution to keep my resolution.

Big. fat. fail.


 I remember one year, I decided to give up mayonaisse as my New Year's resolution.

Yes.  Mayo-naisse.

It's my kryptonite.
 Along with chocolate, and peanut butter, and cleaning, and smelling food before I eat it, and some other things that I need not mention to further embarass myself.
(large "oh my goodness I've said too much" grin)


Seriously,
out of all the condiments, it's clearly the blue ribbon receiver.

 Clearly.

I did really good for about a week, and then a hotdog made it's way onto my plate, and it was all down hill from there.

Hotdog with no mayo...that's obsurd.

Terribly obsurd.  Almost unthinkable.

(When they figure out how to put mayo inside the hotdog,  that guy will make millions!)

I've just come to the realization, that I'm not the greatest at everything, but what I can do...I'm pretty awesome at.

I don't have to compete, or change, or be who the world or the crowd or the magazines think I need to be.

I just have to be the me who God has created me to be, with my own inabilities and own successes.

It doesn't make me less of anything.

It actually makes me wanna be more like Him.


When I am busy "hating" on myself, I'm not applying the love that God wants me to give myself, His daughter, His creation.

When I pursue the things that He has called me to be or do, it draws me closer to Him and being in His likeness for whom I was created to be.


When I seek Him...I not only find Him, I find me.



I just think, that I am already hard on myself when it comes to, I don't know...everything!
  So why do I need to feed the fury, by trying to do something I know I will fail at or fall short of?

Right?

Don't get me wrong...
goals are great.
I believe there are great resolutions made by, and accomplished by, great people every year.

 If you have set one for yourself, I am definitely behind you and want to encourage you to go for the gold!

Give it all you got!
I'm waving my pom-poms in celebration for you!
You can do it!


Because, I do believe that God wants us to set goals for ourselves,
"to run our race with endurance",
to become the best that we can be,
to reach the unreachable,
 but not to the point where we harm ourself esteem by doing it, or where we take ours eyes off of Him trying to get to it.
Where we beat ourselves up and knock ourselves down.
Where we become our own doormat.
Where we feel less of who we are and incapable of what He has created us to be.

If I'm gonna be a loser at something, I'm going to be a confident one, and know what I can and can't do well.


Then I can focus on the things that I do do well, the things He created me to do, and make those things even greater!

And I know He will give me the strength and ability to do those things!
All of those things!


I Peter 4:10
God has given gifts to each of you from his variety of spiritual gifts.  Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you.


I Corinthians 13:12
Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.


Last year, I named my year.

That I can do.

It's not a resolution per say.

More like speaking into your year and declaring it to be something.
Speaking life into an area of death.


Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

Romans 4:17
"call those things that are not, as though they were."


This year,
I am naming my year, the year of Being Open.

open-accesible to all, free from limitations, not shut or closed, available, generous.

I want to be open.

Open to change. 

Open to forgive.

Open to listening.

Open to feel.

Open to love.

Open to compassion.

Open to give.  Open to sacrifice.

Open to receiving.

Open to welcoming others into my heart.

Open to their embrace.

Open to growth, no matter what that brings.

Open to be a kinder, more supportive, and more understanding wife and mother.

Open to peace with my enemies.

Open to conviction.

Open to being easier on myself, because what I expect of myself is sometimes much different than what God expects of me.

Open to lay that self portrait down, and open to pick up God's portrait of me.

 Open to be a vessel.
An open dwelling place.

Wide open and ready for His use.

I want to be an open book for others to see His red lettering on the pages of my life.

I want to be an open writer, not holding back anything, so that those thin places in my life may bring wholeness to someone else and Glory to God.

Open to Jesus.

Open to everything He offers me.

Open to the move of the Holy Spirit as it dances and wisps around my walking, and sometimes weary stumbling feet.

Open to His voice whispering in the midst of the craziness and fog of life , "this is the way, walk in it."

Open to entering new doors and open to closing old ones.

Open to praise and worship and knowing Him deeper through it.

Open to His Word.

Open to His voice.  Open to His silence.

Open to hear, and see.

Open to His discipline.  Open to obedience.

Open to His will in me, and open to trusting Him.

Open to the stretching and reshaping it may cause.

Open to His love and affection for me.

Open to bring Him glory in all things.

Open to His unfathomable and irreplacable grace, that amazes me each and every time it's poured on me.


Open to freedom within His perfect embrace, in a broken world that tries to keep me bound.


Open to being open.


I want to be open, accessible, not closed, but available... to the life He has given me to live for Him.



John 3:30
He must become more important, and I must become less important.

Galatians 2:20
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.


Acts 26:18
"to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me."