Exactly where I want to be.

 

 

 

We celebrated my honey's 40th birthday this past Wednesday.

 

It has left me reminiscing over our life together.

 

I spent yesterday afternoon going through photo albums looking at old and recent photos, and wondering how extremely fast time has flown by.

 

We were only 17 when we met.

 

Geeesh, we were babies then.

 

He walked into my Biology class and as soon as my eyes saw him,

I knew he would be mine.

 

I just knew.

 

My children say that this is the moment that I proceeded to "stalk" him over the next couple of weeks.

 

Stalk. That's such a strong word.

 

It wasn't like the weird stalking you see on CSI, 20/20 or something like that.

 

It was the innocent and sweet "I love you and I know you will love me. I think I need to have your babies." stalking.

 

Ehemm...

Yeah okay, that's still weird.

 

Let's just call it "pursuing".

 

Anywho...

so yeah, that's where we started.

 

Yadda, yadda, yadda...

 two years later on September 7th, 1991 we were husband and wife.

 

(It worked!)

 

This man has made my life worth living.

 

It hasn't always been easy for us,
but it has always been worth it.

He is a beautiful person and has a heart as big as the moon.
He has a heart for God's will and leads our home with great conviction.
He has walked through his life with great courage and I am honored to be beside him.
He is a problem solver and has the most creative mind of anyone I know.

He is gentle and strong.

He is strong enough to protect our home, deer hunt, change the oil on my car, fix the motor on his truck, remodel our home, and whatever else strong men do.

But on the other hand...

He is gentle enough to wipe the tears off his children's faces, pick them up when they have fallen, be silly with them, hold me when I have had a nightmare, cry on sappy movies with me, tear up when the kids give him homemade birthday cards and when his daughter sings a new song with her guitar.

The other day...
I watched him as he tried for 30 minutes to revive a sick kitten that our momma cat had, while our two youngest looked on with tears in their eyes.
He then took the little kitten, put her in a box, and buried her in the back yard.
Two nights later, he held me close to him as I lay in bed crying over the second little kitten that didn't make it...only to get up and repeat the burying process a second time.

He never once made fun of me for crying hysterically over a 5 day old kitten.

He just looked at me and said,
"I love your heart. It's so big that even animals have a place in it."

I just might have fallen in love with him all over again in that moment.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!

I love you more and more each day.

Your life is worth celebrating!

I'm glad your heart was big enough to have a place for me in it,
because that is exactly where I want to be.


Song of Solomon 8:6

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
 for love is as strong as death,
 its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The turning 40 post and how I feel about some other stuff.

 

 

Well folks,

I'm officially forty.

 

My birthday was this past Saturday.

 

Woop, woop!

 

I enjoyed a very relaxing birthday huddled in a corner in the fetal position,

 trying to figure out where the past 40 years have gone.

 

HA!

 

Not really. I kid, I kid.

I had a very nice day spent with family,  the best way to spend a birthday.
I got a pedicure with my sister, my step mom and my daughter.
I spent the rest of the day relaxing at home watching movies and the rest of the weekend surrounded by my four favorite people.

They make me smile until my face hurts.

It was nice.

However...
I did wake up on my birthday morning with a pimple on the right side of my chin.
I haven't had a pimple in over ten years, since I was pregnant with my son.

Over ten years!

If this is a sign of what's to come...I'm a little scared.

I'm not feeling too positive yet again this morning,
since that one pimple now has a buddy who resides on the other side of my chin.

Hmmm? That's just weird.

 

I must admit, I am having a little difficulty saying the number.

 

Forty seems to take much more effort to say than thirty-nine even though it's a smaller word.

 

It doesn't roll off the tongue like I thought it would.

 

I'm still getting used to it.

 

I'll let you know in a few weeks if it's gotten any better.

I do have something I feel okay about...

I have decided that since I am now the oldest out of most of my friends, the rest being 39 or younger...whatever,

that they now have to listen to whatever I say.

 

I mean come on, I'm 40.

I'm OFFICIALLY the older and wiser one.

Emphasis on wiser.

 

Right?

 

I'll let you know how my friends deal with my self proclaimed group decision in a few weeks.

 

 

 

Alrighty now...

 

on to something much more important and serious.

 

Let's talk about this little guy...

 

 

 

 

We've all seen him before.

 

The infamous empty cardboard roll.

 

I walked into my kid's bathroom earlier this morning to pick up any dirty laundry lying around (that's an entirely different post for another day)

and found this little guy sitting there.

 

All alone.

Begging to get some attention.

 

 

I looked slightly to my left and saw this hearty guy sitting there...

 

 

Not even half of a foot away was the full roll.

 

THE. FULL. ROLL!

 

 

Now here's my dilemna...

 

do they think that there is some sort of electric shock that comes piercing out of the roll if they TAKE OFF THE OLD EMPTY ROLL AND PUT ON THE NEW FULL ROLL. 

 

Do they?!!!

 

Seriously.

Am I raising human children or monkey people here?

 

Lord help me!

 

This isn't the first time this has happened...

my frustration comes from years of toilet roll neglect.

 

Sometimes I find the little plastic toilet paper holder on the shelf behind the toilet, the empty roll next to the sink (which is right next to the TRASHCAN!) and a half used roll on the floor.

 

I mean really...

what goes on in there?!

 

I've even taken all of the toilet paper out of their bathroom as punishment,

in an attempt to leave them stranded "with their pants down" (pun intended) teaching them a hard earned lesson in responsibility,

but that just leads to crazy frantic screams of "Mom! I need some toilet paper!" from down the hallway while I am attempting to quietly watch an episode of Master Chef or reruns of Good Luck Charlie on Netflix.

 

That irritates me even more, as it then becomes my punishment.

 

Can I just get a little peace here?

Just. a. little.

 

Just a smidge!

 

My husband says they get it from me, except the blisters on my fingers from changing our toilet roll too, tells me otherwise.

 

This all has made me come to a very painful decision.

 

I have decided from here on out...

 

to leave a pile of leaves in my children's bathroom.

 

No toilet paper. Just nice crispy leaves.

A celebration of the Fall season to come.
 

They've left me no choice.

 

 Really...they haven't.
 

Again...I'll let you know in a few weeks how it turns out.

 

 

I hope your having a great Labor Day.

 

May your Labor Day be free of laboring!!

 

 

 

 

Ephesians 4:28

Let him who steals steal no longer; but rather let him labor, performing with his own hands what is good, in order that he may have [something] to share with him who has need.

 

 

Ecclesiastes 2:24-25

There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment?



Victory is sweet!

 

  

 

 

Jeremiah 29:11-13

---

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

 

 

 

I write this post,

sitting comfortably on my Dad's plushy beige couch.

 

 

I haven't been myself these past few days.

 

At least that's what my husband keeps telling me.

 

This first bothered me when I heard him say it,

and I got angry and offended.

 

Then after marinating on it for a little while,

as I often do...

I realized (painfully) that he was right.

 

My thoughts seem to be all over the place.

 

 

Today makes five days that we have been away from home.

 

Hurricane Isaac entered the gulf and headed our way,

so we decided to take a few days away to visit my dad and step mom as a nice getaway and to flee the oncoming doom of the storm.

 

The storm didn't hit us directly, but the winds and rain knocked out our power and it has been out ever since.

 

No power means no water.

 

No power and no water makes for a cranky little family,

so we opted to stay at my Dad's until our power is restored.

 

Which still,

has not happened.

 

Although I am enjoying the visit with my parents, and they have opened up their home to us as if it were our own...

 

I am out of my element and feel all discombobulated.

 

Hence...I'm just not myself.

 

I even began to make preparations for my own little pity party-party of one,

 being that tomorrow is my birthday and due to the storm...

my previous plans have been cancelled, washed out, blown away with the wind...

you get what I'm saying.

 

So there I was,

ready to stretch out my rubber band on my little pity party hat and tuck it tightly under my chin,

when...

 

I looked to my right and saw my sweet husband sitting on the side of me.

He glanced at me, smiled and grabbed my hand in his squeezing it tightly.

 

I exhaled a huge breath of air and thought to myself,

 

"Oh ye, of little thanks."

 

Yep. That's me.

 

I remembered within those few seconds where I was four years ago almost to the exact day.

The. exact. day.

 

It was August of 2008 and Hurricane Gustav was heading straight for us.

 

My husband and I had separated just four days before.

Our family was divided and broken.

 

I decided to grab the kids, a load of food, their baby pictures, some important papers, a weeks worth of clothes, my dog, and my very broken and confused heart and head to my Dad's house to avoid the storm in the gulf, and in my life.

 

Things were bad, really bad, between my husband and I.

 

The word hate left my lips way more than the word love did those days.

 

 

The day after I arrived at my Dad's house, we packed up and left for Texas to evacuate the storm even further.

 

The next day, the storm hit...on my birthday. 

 I was on my own with my three kids,

 an entire state away from our home,

and desperate to find some sort of peace in my life.

Looking for a Love that didn't cause pain anymore.

 

 

I longed to hear God's voice of direction within the midst of such a huge storm.

Within such a huge mess that had become my life.

 

 

It came...

that Voice. that Peace. that Love.

 

 

And now here I sit,

four years later,

at my Dad's house,

in the aftermath of a hurricane,

the day before my 40th birthday,

with the man that I love.

 

Once again He brings me full circle.

 

Oh how I love this man of mine!
I have so much to be thankful for.

I never imagined I could love him so much.

My companion,

my lover,

my best friend,

my partner,

my husband,
my future.

 

 

These days,

I can't stop telling him "I love you" .

 

And hate,

 is just a bad friend who isn't allowed to visit anymore.

 

 

After pondering all that we've have been through to get to where we are,

and all the places that we have gone together,

 

I realized that it was no coincidence that God had me in the same place I was four years ago,

but this time,

 sitting beside the man of my dreams.

 

It was to remind me where He brought me (us) from.

 

It was to remind me to be thankful even in the midst of a storm.

 

To truly see the blessings around me in spite of the winds that blow from time to time.

 

To realize what really matters.

To see and appreciate, with an open heart,

the little things,

that are actually BIG things.

 

 

I've learned that

God will often bring us to the ruins, so that we can stand in the rubble,

smell the dust around our feet,

and realize as we are standing there...

that we are doing just that,

standing there.

 

And as we are standing in the ruins, that we once knelt down in at our weakest moments,

we can then see from a higher view,

where He planned on taking us in the first place...

 

into victory.

 

 

I'm thankful today to stand in the ruins of what used to be,

and be able to see now where He has brought me from and intended to bring me all along.

 

Take it from me...

Victory is sweet!

 

 

Happy day before my Birthday to me!!

 

 

God is good...oh so good,

and He is so good to me!! 

 

Psalm 34:8
Taste and see that the Lord is good.