Where we are.

 

 

 

"Seek the presence of God and hang on to Him.  Go where He goes and let Him fight for you.  Invariably when we're most exhausted, we'll find we're expending more energy fighting the enemy than we are seeking God's presence.  More than you seek to win, seek Christ! More than you seek victory, seek the Victor! As you do, you are binding yourself to His presence and trusting God to carry you into victory." ~~Beth Moore

 

 

 

 

 

I look at this picture and I almost don't recognize my own children.

Crazy right?

 Man, how they have all changed so much over the last year and a few months.

They are all so crazy amazing! We are so blessed.

 

It's been quite a long while since I have written in this space. My intentions are always to write, but the timing doesn't always fit with my intentions.  

This past year has been a full one.
 We've had lots of laughs and a few tears.  Some good times and some bad.  There were struggles and there have been victories. All in all, it's been a good one.

 

I'm happy to be able to have a little time to myself today, so

 I thought I'd help myself catch up on where we are.

 

So, if you're interested, this is

  where we are...

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

Amber is now 22 years old. Wow!

 

She is in Romania. 

 

 She has been there with CTI (Cross Training International) for almost 5 months now. 

 She is truly living out God's voice over her life. 

He spoke to her a few years ago, after her first trip to Romania, that He would send her back to live there for a time. 

 It is a powerful thing to watch God's words, His very breath over her, being lived out.

I am amazed at her faithfulness to her Father. I am amazed at her bravery to answer His call on her life.

I am in awe of the woman she has become.
And her smile...just radiant. She is stunning.

I am a proud, proud momma.

 

She is living there with the Romanian Master's Commission team and other CTI team members. She is loving it! She is ministering each day to the lost and the hurting. Truly being the hands and feet of Jesus.  She is also teaching a Sunday school class each week to a group of young Romanian children.  She is teaching them English. Her heart for children is such a beautiful thing that has unfolded over the past few years. She has become an amazing leader to the XMC team there.

 

I miss her. Terribly. Like, sobbing ugly cry terribly.

Communication is not always easy. She is on a 9 hour time difference and the few hours of the day that we are awake at the same time, doesn't always guarantee that we will get to chat.  Her schedule keeps her busy and mine, well, it has been crazy at times.

 

  I miss her sweet voice.  I miss the opportunity to just pick up the phone anytime I want and hear it. It's a luxury that I will no longer take for granted. Time is short. Oceans are far and wide.

And this momma misses her girl.

 

She returns home during the middle of September.

Oh, what a happy day that will be!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 



Kaitlyn is now 18 years old.
She is in absolute beauty.

She graduated high school this past May.

 

She wowed the entire auditorium with her graduation speech.

She wowed me with her extreme courage to do it.

She was my first homeschool graduate. She has made the scary choice to homeschool, four years ago, worth every second. She was a phenomenal student.

 

As I type, Kaitlyn is boarding a plane to return home from Seattle.

She has been working for most of the summer, saving up for her college tuition.  She has been working with the Event Force team for Microsoft Corporation during the past month, which has kept her out of state in Florida and Washington.

 

This girl is something else. She is smart and brave and funny and simply loves life.

She has a genuine love for people and for serving the Lord. She wants to travel and disciple others. That just makes my heart so full.  It's refreshing to watch her grow into the world changer I knew she would always be.
 I get to be her momma. That's pretty awesome.

 

She is beginning to take the tiny steps to walk out on that branch and take the awaited leap out of the nest.  Her wings have been practicing their flight over the past few months.

She is ready and excited to move into her dorm/apartment and  start college in the Fall where she will attend XMC.

She will do great.  I see her nurturing all her roommates and cooking meals for them. She is a giver. Always has been.  I also see their apartment full of joy. Wherever she is, you'd better be sure there will be much laughter.

 

Me? Well, ya know... I'd say it gets easier the more children you let go of, but I'd be lying.

It is a beautiful, yet hard process. Sort of like labor.

The tearing away of their bodies from yours. But, this time, they take your heart with them. I'm working on getting used to the process. It's a good tearing away, but not an easy one.

 Maybe, when Isaac leaves home in 16 years or so, I'll be a pro at it. (Or maybe not.)

 

I look forward to hugging her neck later tonight when she gets home.

Her face and her laughter have been missed around the house.

They will be missed even more, come September.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mason is now 12 years old.

Or, as he says it, "practically 13".

 

 Out of all the kids, he has definitely changed the most.

 

He will be starting 8th grade in just a few short weeks.

 

In their group picture above, his face was all babyish and soft and still a little squishy.

 

Now?

Well, he has facial hair,  he's 5'7" and 197 pounds!

He grew into a young man overnight, I think.

 

His voice is changing, his face is maturing and he's passed his dad up in shoe size!

 

What the hoohah is happening here?

I was not prepared for this.

  I've watched my girls become young women, and now, I'm watching my sweet baby boy become a man. What a beautiful, yet heart wrenching sight.

He's just a baby!

(Well, he's my baby.)

 

He just returned yesterday from Tween Camp. He talked and talked and talked for the first 4 hours and then he just passed out, practically mid sentence, on the way home.  Camp tired. That's the best tired.

 

He told us last night over supper, that he was filled with the Holy Spirit during one of their evening chapel services. He said it was the weirdest and best feeling he's ever experienced.

 

I did good, y'all... holding back the tears, as he shared his life changing news in his newly deepening pubescent voice.
(I was freaking out on the inside with tears and joy and all that jazz!)

 

He's growing up...so, so fast.

 

My heart is trying to stay caught up with all of it.  I'm doing my best to flow with all of the changes going on with everyone.

 

Mason is a sweet, sweet young man. He's a good helper and a hard worker.

He's looking forward to his sister moving out in September, so that he can finally have the
"big room".

He's also looking forward to the day that he can grow a beard, like his dad.

I'm not ready for that.

Not. at. all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Isaac is almost 2 years old.

 

He is a busy toddler who insists that he should live outside...all of the time!
(Even though his momma is allergic to the planet. Thank you, Lord, for anthihistamines!)

 

He is talking really well and beginning to show his own little personality.

His giggle is possibly the best sound I have ever heard.

 It is extremely contagious. It's simply the best.

 

He loves shoes, our rooster "Popcorn", playing with his best friend, Ren, praying and saying "Amen" at every meal, and watching Curious George.  He gives the best hugs and recently learned to say, "I wuvv oo."

I. just. melt. like. buttah.

 

He has come so very far since a year ago, when he had heart surgery.

We've had a few of our 1 year checkups since surgery, and for the most part, he is in great health. He no longer has the symptoms he had before surgery and it has been a blessing watching him enjoy life without being sick.

 

His sensory issues are up and down.  We have some really good days for the most part, but when we have bad days, they are really rough...with a capital RROOOUUUGH!

God is teaching me much about myself and how to be a mother, during this season with Isaac.

Much, much.

You'd think since my oldest is 22, I'd have this mothering thing in the bag by now. Ummm, not exactly. God is showing me that my kids aren't the only ones that are growing, or that need to grow.

(But, that's for another blog post.)

 

We are, however, in the middle of new medical tests. He's had some mild, yet persistent symptoms, over the past 6 months or more. An abnormal test result revealed that he could have something serious going on.  We are awaiting results right now.  We have several doctors appointments for this coming week.  We are praying and praying to receive some answers soon, and of course, for a perfect healing in his little body.

 

Until then, I am taking in each moment and trying not to forget to breathe.

I am reminding myself that God has our best intentions in mind. He always has.

 

My husband said it best,

"God's in control. He always has been. I don't want to work against what He wants to do in us, so I've just learned to go with it. His control is better than mine has ever been."

 

So true. Such a wise man.

 

 

 

 

As for me and this handsome stud, we are approaching our 24th wedding anniversary.

(Geez, we are old!)

 

We are doing our best to hold onto this fast train that our kids have us on.

They are all such a delight and we've enjoyed every part of this ride with them. We are ready to have them all under the same roof again. That will be a very good day, indeed.

We look forward to the season ahead of us. We do our best to embrace everything as it comes and not take one moment for granted.

 

At times, we feel so undeserving of the life we get to live.

 

Who knew a girl from the projects and a Cajun boy from the bayou would end up so crazy and wonderfully blessed!

 

God has been so very good to us.


"At the end of the day, I have a life that's good."
 

 

These days, we are doing our best to stay connected with one another. Life, these past couple of years, has caused us to get into a continuous motion of survival. Situations, beyond our control, have blindsided us and knocked us out of wack a bit. Life will do that sometimes. It doesn't ask permission before it does. Stuff just comes.

In the midst of being tossed about, we have forgotten, at times, why we jumped on this crazy train in the first place.

All because we were deeply and passionately in love.

We just wanted to breathe each other in, all of the time.

We wanted to love and laugh with each other, forever.

 

"Through sickness and in health. Through good times and bad. Until death do we part."

 

We are working our way back to that place with one another and enjoying doing so.

I am thankful for God's strength that has kept us afloat. He is quick to grab us when we begin to sink. His hand definitely does uphold us.

 

Frankie is an extraordinary man and a great partner. He leads our family well.

He makes me laugh until I snort. I love him so very much. He's my boo.

 This journey would not be worth living without him.

 

 

So, folks, that is exactly ...where we are.

 

God continues to show me, that through it all, and wherever we are... He is there.

 He is there in the good, the bad, the easy, the struggle, the laughter, the tears, the failures, the victories and in the midst of all the changes.

 

It's the sweetest thing, seeing His love ebb and flow through every area of our lives.

 

Nothing goes unseen by Him and nothing is a surprise to Him.

 

He is always there, watching over us.

 

Where we are...He simply is.

 

 

Psalms 33:18

"But the Lord watches over all who honor Him and trust His kindness."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



One lucky lady.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I wonder if all the things I tell my kids on a daily basis,

really get heard by them.

 

If I had a nickel for every time I have told them one particular thing over and over and over,

well...

I'd have a whole lot of nickels!

 

I feel like a recorder sometimes and my words are exhausting.

 

Do you ever feel that way?

 

Can I get a witness here?! Somebody please say YES!

 

The other day I was at soccer practice with my son and ALAS!

 

I found out, that they ARE listening!

 

Something is actually getting in those heads of theirs!

 

Let me explain...

 

We began teaching our son at an early age how important it was to show respect to girls.

 

Living with two older sisters and one Mom, I thought it was good practice in showing him how important it was to treat a girl with honor and dignity.

 

We have been very adamant on the way that he speaks to his sisters and myself.

We have also taught him that you do not put your hands on a girl unless it is out of love or respect.

(Like hugging or shaking hands.)

 

No hitting. None. No exceptions!

 

We've taught him to open the door for a lady,

always help with the groceries,

say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am",

 and ask her, if she is carrying something, "Can I help you with that?"

 

It's something that we feel is important for him to learn now.

He will one day be a husband and a father, not just our son.

 

 

Proverbs 22:6

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

 

 

We want him to know that chivalry and honor are not dead!

 

They are very much alive.

 

The dictionary describes being chivalrous as

marked by honor, generosity and courtesy, especially towards women.

 

We want him to know that respect is important and that it will take him very far.

 

We want him to know that if he sows seeds of respect and honor,

he will reap respect and honor.

 

He is just as important as the girls we have taught him to respect.

His heart is just as valuable as theirs.

 

If you haven't noticed...our world is changing. And not always in a good way.

The old days of respect and honor for one another is fading fast.

If we don't teach our children the important value of loving and respecting one another, having manners, and self worth...it may one day be gone all together.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

It doesn't have to fade away. It can actually be revived!

 

We definitely don't want it to fade in our own home.

As with anything else, we want them to be set apart and take a stand for the things that are important to God...not this world.

We do our best, to exhaust our own breath and continue to tell them over and over and over again how important it is.

 

It's what God has told us to do...

 

John 15:12

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

 

Phillippians 2:3

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.

 

Romans 12:10

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;

 

 

So...

the other day we were at the soccer field.

 

 He was practicing kicking the ball around a little bit before practice officially started. There were a few of his teammates doing the same thing. One of the little girls accidentally grabbed the wrong ball, and the little boy that it belonged to snatched it out of her hands... then kicked the ball, hitting her in the back as she walked away.

 

My little guy AKA Mr. Chivalry,

then looks at the little boy, after watching the whole thing transpire, and says...

"Dude, that is not cool. You do not hit a girl."

 

The little boy looked surprised at Mason's remark and asked,

"Well what was I supposed to do? She took my ball!"

 

Mason walked over to him, placed his hand gently on his shoulder and said,

"Dude, dude. It doesn't matter what she did. You should never treat a girl like that."

 

The boy answered back and said,

"Well at least I didn't punch her!"

 

Mason, looking shocked says,

"Dude, don't even think about that. Do you know she is going to be a lady some day? You do not treat a lady like that. That is not cool."

 

 

Seriously...

it took all I had to keep myself in my folding chair and not jump up screaming,

"That's my boy! Right there!  Oh yeah! He's mine!"

 

I was so proud! I can not even tell you.

 

I could have swooped him up and hugged him for like an hour!

 

And to top that off...if I wasn't floating enough from a few days ago,

today...at a field trip,

he opened the car door for his little friend, so she could get into the car first.

 

Be still my mothering heart!!

 

I tell ya...this boy of mine has warmed my life.

 

He's definitely a keeper!

 

And whoever gets his heart down the road...

will be one lucky lady!

 

(But for now...he's all mine!)

 

 

1 Corinthians 11:7-12



For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. ⁸ For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. ⁹ Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. ¹⁰ That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.¹¹ Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; ¹² for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.

 

 

 

Ephesians 5:21-28

 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[b her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

 

 



The conversation with my son that I'll never forget.

 

If our heart beats for what God’s heart beats, shouldn’t compassion for people and a passion for His mission on this earth be our Holy obsession.
~~Ann Voskamp
 

As I sat at the bus stop yesterday, waiting on my little nephew to get off of the bus, I came across this video on Ann Voskamp's blog.

My little guy was sitting next to me in the passenger's seat.

As I began to watch the video, he asked who the lady was speaking in it.

I told him that she was Christine Caine and that she began an organization for human trafficking.

He looked puzzled and said,
"Mom, what's human trafficking? Is that about people getting angry in traffic, ya know...like you do sometimes."

I giggled, feeling a little ashamed of my apparent "road rage" at times, and began explaining to this innocent precious little 10 year old boy about...
human slavery.

I explained how women and children from all over the world were taken and forced to live as human slaves for other people. I explained that the circumstances in which they lived were horrible, painful and most likely seen in a horror movie. I explained how the people responsible for this needed to go to jail for the hurt they caused, and that those women and children needed to be rescued. I explained that that was Christine Caine's mission behind her organization.

His eyes grew wide and his little face dropped.
 I could tell he was shocked by the thought of it all.

I myself, could hardly fathom that I was actually sitting there talking to my son about modern day slavery.
As the words left my mouth, it just seemed unreal.

I continued to explain a little more to him, trying to finish the conversation as gently as I could.

He sat quiet, as I could feel my voice shaking and the urge to cry with every word that fell out of my mouth.

In mid sentence, I could see that his mind was turning rapidly inside his little head and that he wanted to say something.

So, I finished my sentence and asked if he had any questions.

He said,
"Mom, how old are those little kids?

I said,
"Young, very young."

He asked,
"My age young?"

I said,
"Yes."

He sat quietly for a few seconds, then he asked...
"Do those kids ever make it back to their Moms?"

I answered back,
"Some do, some don't."

He sat again quietly looking down at the seat.

He then looked up at me and asked,
"Do they know Jesus Mom? You know, the bad people?"

I answered back,
"No sweetie, I'm pretty sure they don't."

He looked at me with confidence and said,
"Well, I'm going to pray for the bad people and for those ladies and kids. They need to know that Jesus loves them and maybe they won't hurt anymore.  And maybe those kids can go back to their Moms."

Then, he grabbed my phone, pressed the arrow button,
and began watching Christine Caine's sermon in it's entirety. 

He paused it only long enough, to tell his cousin hello, then began watching it again.


After it was over he said to me,
"That was pretty good huh, Mom?"

I responded with a yes, as he ran to his room with his cousin to play.

I stood in my kitchen amazed at God's faithfulness, and in awe of this little boy of mine...
 so hungry for the Lord


I thought that this video was going to be just about human trafficking,
 but it was so much more than that.

It's a little long, but I promise you if you watch it in it's entirety...it will bless you and inspire you.


It doesn't matter how skilled you are before the race starts,
or how fast you run to the finish line...
what matters most, is that you don't drop the baton.
The next generation is counting on you to hand it over to them.
For their sake and others, don't drop it.
~~Christine Caine


Mark 16:15
He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation."


Matthew 28:19
He said to them, "Therefore every teacher of the law who has been instructed about the kingdom of heaven is like the owner of a house who brings out of his storeroom new treasures as well as old."



 

 

The 3D Mom

 

Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
 and all these things will be given to you as well.

 

I find myself feeling very 3-dimensional lately.

 

It's much different than the usual feelings of emotion

 that move and flow through my life on a daily basis.

 

I've had the privelege of being a mom to three amazing and awesome young people.

 

They have stretched my life and heart in ways unimaginable and I am better because of it.
I should have known when they were born into my life to take space within my heart, that the stretching was bound to happen to make room for more Love.

 

Their love, in many ways, has healed me.

But, I have wondered what God is up to from time to time in this whole mothering thing.

I've asked Him...
"Ughh, are you sure I can bend that way God? Because it feels like I'm just going to break right here, right now, in this very spot."

On some days, I actually have been broken...
but He is quick to pick me up and mend my brokenness, only making me stronger because of it.

Using my weakness to bring out strength.
 

He has challenged me in ways that I did not expect,

 like where I am right now.

 

There is a 5 to 6 year gap between each of my children.

 

A gap that I have well appreciated over the years.

One that I know God planned out perfectly just for our family.

 

And lately,

it's the one thing that has made me feel 3-dimensional.

They are all so very different and require something different from me in this particular season of life.

Dimension 1:
 

My oldest daughter has been out of our house for a year and a half now.

She began her second year of Master's Commission (Bible College) this past September.

She will be 20 years old in January.

 

And as I type that number above, I let out a big sigh.

 

A sigh of... "Where has the time gone? Where did my little blonde curly haired girl go?"

 

She is an amazing young woman who is filled with such greatness.

She is determined to change the world around her and

fulfill the calling on her life no matter what the cost.

 

Her love for God runs deep and thick within her veins

and pulsates the heart that beats inside her chest.

She is creative and talented and has a true compassion for others.
She has no idea how beautiful and amazing she is, her humility is genuine.
But, she radiates. Simply radiates.
 

I am one proud Momma of that brilliant girl.

 

Our relationship has changed over the past year or so.

She needs me but doesn't need me all at the same time.

 

She needs my heart and my ears to listen to her go on and on about her days and what God has done in and through her. 

 

She explains her goings-on with such passion and zest and feeling and

I love her for that.

 

She still needs my advice and my direction,
 but done gently, sort of in the shadows,
and in a way that I haven't had to before.

She needs me... to let go, but hold on.
 

She needs me to let her find her own way now,

and be there to help her if she needs a direction every now and then.

 

Oh yes,

our relationship has changed...

but I feel it's for the better.

 

I feel it's what she needs,

what I need.

 

It's the letting go but holding on just enough.

 

 Just enough.

I remember the way I felt a little over a year ago when she left home.  On the ride home I felt as though my heart had been ripped from my chest and I could not breathe in those moments.  I cried with my entire body feeling as though my soul was being emptied out.
The days and weeks after would get worse as I saw the emptiness in our home that she once filled with her laughter, her beautiful voice echoing through the halls as she sang and played her guitar in worship to her Savior, and her sweet smile.

My heart felt torn between who she was becoming and who God was calling me to be.

I thought those feelings would last forever.

I walked into the bathroom at church this past Sunday and saw my sweet friend crying, because she too had recently saw her son off to college the same way, and her heart was still raw where it had been torn with goodbyes.

I hugged her and said,
"It's okay to feel sad right now and this too shall pass.  One day you will celebrate where he is and your heart will heal."

I realized with those few words spoken, that that is just where I was now.

Even though there are days that I miss her so very much and I find myself staring at her empty chair at the kitchen table wishing things to be the way they once were,

I can now celebrate where she is and where I am.
My heart has healed.

What a gift to be her Mom, what a gift to be right where we are today.


Dimension 2:

My second daughter is 15.

This girl has rocked my world.

She couldn't be more opposite from her older sister,
but she is every bit as great and brilliant.

I learned through this young girl that no two children are alike and no two children can be parented the same.

She is unique in every way and I love her so much for that.

She is creative and passionate in all areas of life.
She is not just the brightness of the sun,
but she is the moon...
and if she had it her way,
she'd walk it one day.

She is adventurous and clever and her sweetness is felt by everyone she comes in contact with.

Her love for God is gentle and pure,
not outspoken...
but very personal.

She's beginning to find her way in who she is in Him
 and it has unlocked even more greatness within her.

 

 She needs me in the now. Today, right here.
She needs me to keep her life balanced as it wants to toss her around with new emotions,
choices and challenges.

She needs me to tell her "no" when her strong will screams "yes" to something that might not be the best for her.

Those days aren't always my favorite,
and they tear me in bits and sometimes drain me of all my energy causing me to hold my breath in emotional exhaustion.

But when she comes to me later waving her little white flag of surrender,
sometimes hidden in a little smile
or the tiny gesture of wanting me to sit in her room with her as she folds her clothes
or even in handing me half of her Smores Pop-tart,
I know, that my heart will live another day.

That we, her and I, are growing together.

Being her Mom has blessed my heart to overflowing.
This girl, in all her wonder,
will one day change the world around her.

Dimension 3:

My son just made 10 years old.
Yes, double digits. Meaning, no more little ones in our home.
I sigh, again.

He is the sweetest, most gentle creature I have ever met.

He came to us at a time when the hope for our growing family had ceased.

You would think that by now, I would be some sort of a pro at this whole mothering thing, but the rasing of this man child has definitely stretched me.

Girls I know, well somewhat, because I am one.
But this whole boy thing?

Wow.

How does a female raise a future man, leader of his one day family and home?

How?

I'm not all sure on most days, but I'm learning a little more every day.

I've actually begun reading,
Hope for the Weary Mom: Where God Meets You in Your Mess, A Guide to Raising Godly Men.

I know I won't find all the answers I seek within the pages of this book.
That can only be found in hiding myself in His grace, in His Word and in His presence,
but I do hope to find something that makes me feel a little more normal in my worry of what to do, or what to say, or how to breathe in all of this.


I've definitely mellowed out a bit with my son and have allowed my own mistakes to embrace the Grace that God has so freely given to me.

My little guy has made me smile until my face hurts.
He has the most contagious laugh.
He gives the best hugs.

He, has been my friend.

He is intelligent, yet quiet and courageous and very eager to find his way.

He asks me all the time what his gift is.

He wants so much to know his God-given purpose.
Even at such a young age,
he desires to know God and make Him known.

He lives and breathes video games and soccer,
 from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed at night.

The other day we were at soccer practice.
I watched him from my lawn chair as he listened intently at the other children talking around him.

He is so much like his father...a man of few words.

But when he speaks, you'd better believe what he says will have great depth, emotion and meaning.

I watch him listening to them, and I see the love in his eyes for his friend as one of them begins to down himself and his ability to be goalie in the next soccer game.

His little blue eyes filled with compassion stare on as he listens to his friend, never interupting him.

And then I see him put his little hand on the space behind his friend's neck rubbing his back, comforting him.

I hear him quietly say,
"You are a great goalie. You just have to believe in yourself."

My heart melts.

He holds the same characteristic as His Savior.
He is a friend among men.
An encourager.

He needs me, all of me, every day, all the time.

He has been this Momma's heart's delight.


So here I am, the 3D Mom.

Raising and loving three kids, who are all very different in mind, emotion, needs and age.
Whose life and heart is being stretched and pulled on some days...
yet fulfilled and blessed on most.

I find comfort in knowing that God is here with me every step of the way,
gently drawing me closer to Him,
 as I gently guide them closer to Him.

Being 3-dimensional means having more depth in the way you
 see and feel something. It gives you the opportunity of embracing something from all angles and all areas. 

3D allows you to have the full effect of something.

The full effect.

God has surely given me the full 3D effect as their Mom.
They have made me challenge myself, doubt myself, and love myself all in the same day.
They have brought out dimensions that I never even knew existed.
They have caused me to feel emotions I never knew I could.
They have caused me to love harder and feel stronger.
I would not be who I am without them.
 I feel blessed to embrace all of 3 of them in every season of their life and mine.

These 3 kids of mine have awakened my soul to new heights and more love than I could ever imagine.

They take up space within my heart and my life and
I wouldn't have it any other way.

We are heart roomies for life!

I want to embrace and see and feel it all.
Every ounce.

So, I'll continue doing my best to find my way in this whole mothering thing.
This wonderful and crazy journey, that shifts and winds and turns on the blink of an eye.

This unimaginable path, I have been honored to be on.

This Mom thing...them needing me to LOVE them with all that I am,
is the best thing,
ever.


Micah 6:8

But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women.
It's quite simple:
Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don't take yourself too seriously--take God seriously.

How has motherhood stretched you?

Do you ever feel like a 3D Mom?

Please feel free to share in the comment section below.











 

 

 

 



Raising world changers and non-shoppers. Well, 1 out of 2 isn't bad.

 

 

 

 

There we sat, my Kaitlyn and I, across from one another in a booth at Whataburger.

 

I gazed into her big beautiful brown eyes and said to her with great emotion,

 

"I have to talk to you about something.  It's very important to me and I think that it's time we talk about it."

 

She listened on intently, her eyes growing larger with every second.

 

"I want to talk to you about the legacy I want to leave you," I said.

 

I had her full attention at this point.

 

"Yes?" she responded.

 

"It's important to me that I leave a legacy with my daughters.  A legacy of being a non-shopper." I said with a smile.

 

 

She bursts out in laughter and says,

 

"I'm sorry Mom, your going to have to talk to Amber about this one."

 

 

A few days later, my oldest came home from college to spend the day.  I picked up the conversation where I left off with her sister.

 

I began to share my heart once again with my other daughter, Amber...

 

"It's important to be that I leave a legacy with my daughters.  A legacy of being a non-shopper."

 

 

Silence fills the room, as she looks at me with her big blue eyes filled with sincerity and says,

 

"Oh Mom, I'm sorry, but it's too late for me!"

 

Then she points to her little brother and says,

"Don't feel bad.  At least you have Mason, he hates shopping."

 

 

I don't know what it is, but I seriously loathe shopping.

Loathe with a capital L-O-A-T-H-E!
 

Take yesterday for instance, I shopped for a new pair of jeans and it was torture.
I would have rathered pull out all of my eyelashes, one by one.

It wasn't even because I shopped for jeans, because I know that in itself is horrendous to most women.

It's shopping all together that I don't like.

 

Never have I ever said,

"I went shopping today and it was so much fun!"
or
"Oooh, I can't wait to go shopping!"
or
"I would love to relax and spend the day shopping."

Nope.

 

Never have I ever, hold onto your hats...been shopping on Black Friday.

 

Nope. Never.

I know. Crazy right?
 

And it's not because I don't like pretty things. 

I LOVE pretty clothes and shoes and jewelry and purses.

 

I love, love, love them.

 

Check out my Pinterest boards, there are tons of pretty things on there...

but you won't catch me shopping for any of it.

 

 

My husband swears it's because my highschool years were spent in hand me down clothes, living in the projects of a very small town and never going shopping.
He says I adjusted early to the simplicity of life.

He has a point...but I say to myself,
"Get over it already! Buy you some new pretty shoes and like it!"


All humor aside,
I really desire to leave my children with a legacy.

My mother may not have brought me shopping when I was a teenage girl, but what she did give me, even amongst her brokenness, was a love for Christ, a heart to serve Him and a desire to change the world around me.

And that...
is the legacy that I choose to pass on.

Oh, that they would have a heart to serve the Lord.

That even amongst the brokenness of my own life at times, that they remember and know how much their Father in Heaven rejoices in every breath that they take and how He longs to bring them to fullness in Him.

A life of grace poured out on the cross and resurrected in their hearts.

I want them to know, that even in the tiniest of amounts... their smile, their heart, their love and their life can and will make a difference.

They will change the world.


My oldest has a heart so full of passion for the Lord that it leaks out of her, spewing hope and love for everyone around her.

When I hear her say,
"I'm going back to Romania Mom.  I know I am, and God is going to do great things there."
my heart explodes with excitement for her.


When I see her standing on stage leading worship for her youth group, or singing the newest song God has written on her heart...
I can't help but see the world around her changing in those few seconds.

She, is already a world changer.


My youngest daughter is the essence of Joy.
She brings laughter to everyone around her and her sprouting heart for Christ blesses me every day.

I asked her the other day if she missed her friends from public school, due to the fact that we homeschool now and she never sees them, and her response gave me a glimpse into her future...

"No, Mom I don't.  Those friends were hurtful to me and I know now that they weren't really my true friends.  I have real friends now.  They laugh with me, not at me,  and love me and I can talk about God without feeling embarassed about it. That's a good thing.  No, I'm okay."

And her world slowly changes for the better with each word that leaves her mouth.
Her bright confident smile  revealing God's love growing inside her.


My little guy was baptized last week.

The day before, we were riding in the car and he was practicing what he wanted to say as his "statement of faith" during his baptism.
He went over three or four things that he thought were good and asked me what I thought.

"I just want to say the best thing Mom to show people that I love Jesus and what he has done for me", he explains from the backseat.

And as he stands with his hands cupped together, about to cover his little mouth and nose before being submerged under the water he says proudly,

"My name is Mason Stelly.  I am a disciple of Christ."

And Heaven rejoices as his little world changes in that very moment.


World changers...

they weren't created to be ordinary, they were created to stand out and make a difference.


Oh, that they would have a heart to serve the Lord,
and change the world they live in.

That is His legacy.

 

Deuteronomy 4:9

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

 

 

What is the legacy you want to leave for your children?

I'd love for you to leave a comment.

Have a blessed day! 

 

 



They get it.

I wonder if they get it...

if my children really get it.

How important their Savior is to them,
 and they to Him.

That He is not a religion, but The perfect Love embrace.

That He is Hope.

Their One Constant.

That He is there, residing within them, around every corner, and in every situation.

That there is no other Love that will satisfy their hearts.

That He is worth every sacrifice it will take to be closer to Him.

That His grace covers all, healing and redeeming.


That through Him they are more than conquerors.


That His blood pours freely like a rushing river saving them over and over, washing them clean time and time again.

I wonder,

in the craziness of mothering them, and trying to "get it right", that they truly know what Jesus did for them and where He went for them and where He will go with them.

If they are absorbing their Bible lessons, and taking in His word during homeschooling, and if they are listening in their church service.

If they take it in and let it resonate in their hearts, moving and flowing with each pulse.

If they get it...if they truly get it.

Then something happens...

We were taking down our Christmas decorations and listening to some Christian praise and worship music.

Mason was sitting on the couch and I could hear him begin to sing along with one of the songs.

He says to me,

"Mom, I know this song!  We sing this song in KJAM.  It's one of my favorite worship songs.  I like the words and what they say in it.   The words are good.  Listen to them Mom."

And he continues to sing word for word, and with all of his heart, the lyrics of the song...

You sent Your Son
From heaven to earth
You delivered us all
It's eternally heard
I searched for truth
And all I found was You
My God
I'll only ever give my all

Jesus we're living for Your Name
We'll never be ashamed of You
Whoa o oh
Our praise and all we are today
Take take take it all
Take take take it all

Jesus we're living for Your Name
We'll never be ashamed of You
Whoa o oh
Our praise and all we are today
Take take take it all
Take take take it

~~lyrics by Hillsong

My heart quickens inside my chest and I choke down the tears.

Then I am reminded...

that I don't have to always "get it right",

because over 2,000 years ago, He did.

And He is ever so present still today...

in their little hearts.

Inhabiting with them.

Breathing within them.

Saving them.

Loving them.

And I am confident and at peace, with the next words that speak over me...

"They get it. They really get it."

Proverbs 22:6

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Seek Truth!

I was sitting on the couch yesterday getting ready for our French lesson, and Mason was looking at a Christmas catalog while he waited for our lesson to begin.

He looks at me and says,

"Mom, did you know that some kids are scared of Santa Claus?"

I giggled and said,

"Really? I did not know that."

Very confident he says,

"Yep. They are Claus-trophobic. That means they are scared of Santa Claus."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his response, but then I noticed that he was serious.

We began to discuss it and he revealed to me that his older sister told him this a couple of years ago.

He knew nothing but to believe her, and he had heard the word "claustrophobic" before, so he figured she was telling him the truth.

I told him what the word really meant. He seemed a little disappointed at first, because his sister had told him something that he thought was the truth.

He then felt a little silly believing it.

We laughed it off and continued to do our lesson.

Later that night, he was more than ready to tell his Dad about his sister's evil ways.

As he began to tell him, his sister over heard him from the back of the house and came running into the kitchen to plead her case.

She began to explain,

"I was just playing with him. I didn't mean him any harm. I didn't know he really believed me.  I heard it from an episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants..."

She then went on for several minutes, describing the entire episode leading up to the punch line of the meaning of "Claustrophobic."

It was innocent fun, but it was a good reminder.

It made me realize, once again, how impressionable their little minds are.

How they believe the people in their lives who they trust and love.

How they trust us and every word that leaves our mouths...

The good.

The bad.

The silly.

The lies.

The rumors.

The truths.

The white lies.

Every. Word.

Mason's Bible lesson last week was on the Knowledge of God.
It taught him that God wants us to learn about Him when we are young, so that it will stay with us for our entire lives.

Our Creator knows how impressionable we are when we are young.

He knows that our minds are like sponges absorbing whatever is around us.

And His Word promises that if we teach them His ways when they are young,

"they will not depart from it".

It becomes a part of their growth process, moving and flowing inside their veins and heart.

His Word is LIFE!

 Now is the time that our little ones need to know that.

They need to know how much He loves them.

Where He was willing to go for them.

How sufficient His grace is.
That He is the Light directing them in this dark world.

How important it is to share Him with others.

To be bold and not ashamed of talking about God's power and love.

To seek Him for His truth in and through all things.

Now is the time!

It was also a good reminder for me as an adult, to be sure to check my sources.

We are so quick to repeat news or gossip, not even knowing if it's the truth, or if it came from a "Sponge Bob" or not.

We are very quick to "share" news about someone, when sometimes, we didn't even have permission to share.

We are quick to open our mouths when we gather,

and less quick to drop to our knees when we are alone.

We are eager to share rumors,

but we forget to share Jesus.

We are tip toeing around in dangerous territory.

We must let God be God.

We must go to The Source of all TRUTH asking Him to reveal to us what is of Him or what is not.

A friend of mine had doubts about something the other day. 

She told me that she,

"Went straight to the Word to find the truth, asking God to reveal it to her."

I commend her for that!

She had doubts, so she didn't take the word of someone else, she went straight to The Source!

She let God be God.

I'm not sure if she found her answer yet, but I know that she will.

His Word also promises us,

 if we seek Him with all our hearts, we will find Him!

Seek after Him.

Seek Truth!

2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.

Happy Birthday Mason!

See that little guy right there...

that was my Mason at the age of three.

Shaa my lil' man.

Mason's birthday is tomorrow, and he will turn the ripe old age of 9.

That's right...

one more year and it's double digits.

He's practically a man!

Where does the time go?

I'm writing his birthday blog today because tomorrow we will be knee deep in the festivities of his birthday celebration. We are having a swim party with all the fixens! It will be filled with family, friends, and lots of food. I'm sure it will be a day of many wonderful memories. I may be whooped to a noodle like state by the next morning, from having five little boys sleep over, but I'm willing to risk it.

(Pray for me.)

I'm coping with him getting older...little by little, while making sure not to take for granted any of the time that we have together.

Every moment counts.

Every one.

He's an awesome kid.

A few weeks ago, he and I had some time to spend together, just the two of us. His dad was at work, and both of his sisters were on vacations with their friends.

We decided to take a swim in the pool.

There we lay in the pool, floating and basking in the sun on our innertubes. I on the green one, which he insisted was a "girl" color since flowers grow in the grass, and he on the blue one, because, well..ya know, "blue" is for boys...as he put it.

The pool water and the blue innertube reflecting on his eyes, made them look the blue-est of blues.

He has the greatest eyes.

I decided to have a little chat with him while we had some time alone.

I like to pick my kids' brains every now and then, to see what they're thinking.

I am always surprised to see where their minds are taking them during certain seasons of our lives.

This is a piece our conversation on that day,

Me: "So, are you glad that we moved back to the country?"

Mason: "Yessss!"

Me: "I'm glad. What makes you so happy to be back?"

Mason: "This is home to me Mom. I like the outdoors and I love the swimming we get to do now. Plus me and Smokey (his dog) have lots of land to run around on together."

Me: "Do you miss the other house at all?"

Mason: "Well, I liked it cuz my room was bigger, but this house makes us closer and I don't feel like we are all so far apart anymore."

He paused, "I miss the girls."

Me: "You miss them?"

Mason: "Yes. I miss them."

Me: "Really?"

(Thinking...but yah fight ALL the time.)

Mason: "Yep. They are good sisters and I miss them."

Me: "So, what's your favorite memory with them?"

Mason: "When yah surprised us on our way to Disney World. We all screamed and then we hugged eachother."

Me: "What is your favorite memory with Amber?"

Mason: "When she reads to me."

Me: "What's your favorite memory with Kaitlyn?"

Mason: "Swimming in this pool."

Me: "What's your favorite memory with Dad?"

Mason: "When he took me fishing."

Me: "What's your worst memory?"

Mason: "I don't have any. I'm happy with my life so far."

Me: (smiling big)

Mason: "Mom, you didn't ask me what my favorite memory with you was."

Me: "Oh, oops. What is your favorite memory with me?"

He paused for a second, while staring down at his hands while they moved back and forth in the water.

Mason: "Right now."

At that point my heart began to slowly melt out of my chest and seep into the warm pool water.

(Sometimes, that kid's wisdom knocks me off my feet...or should I say, off my innertube.)

To be happy with the "right now."

That's what I want.

Perfect, sweet, and uninterrupted contentment in the "right now".

God gives us opportunity to have that each and every day.

We just have to rest in Him.

In nine short years, my little guy has taught me so much.

Happy Birthday Mason!!

Your heart is as big as the moon!

I thank God each day for being able to watch your life unfold so beautifully!

You have brought me so much joy!

I am honored to be your Mom.

I love you!

Some neat and great things about my boy!

*No matter where I go, or how long I am gone, each time I return home and open the front door, he comes running to me, gives me a great big hug and says he missed me.

*He loves meatloaf...the "real charasterisitc of a carnivore", as he says.

*He loves to pray and very quick to do so in any situation.

*He wants to be a zoologist.

*He loves math.

*He still says I'm his best friend.

*He loves soccer.

*He loves family game night and thinks it should be every night of the week.

*Last year, he accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior.

(smiley face)

*He loves to sing in the back seat of my car when we are riding down the highway.

(The best thing about that is...he doesn't know I'm listening.)

*He hates haircuts.

*He has the greatest giggle.

*His favorite pet--Smokey (our male daustchund)

*His favorite desert--ice cream.

*His favorite movie--Avatar, The Last Airbender

He loves, loves, loves to watch football with his dad and I...any game, any time.

*His favorite song--Home, by Michael Buble

*His favorite cartoon--Pheneas and Ferb

*The first movie that he watched and cried--Marley & Me