Where we are.

 

 

 

"Seek the presence of God and hang on to Him.  Go where He goes and let Him fight for you.  Invariably when we're most exhausted, we'll find we're expending more energy fighting the enemy than we are seeking God's presence.  More than you seek to win, seek Christ! More than you seek victory, seek the Victor! As you do, you are binding yourself to His presence and trusting God to carry you into victory." ~~Beth Moore

 

 

 

 

 

I look at this picture and I almost don't recognize my own children.

Crazy right?

 Man, how they have all changed so much over the last year and a few months.

They are all so crazy amazing! We are so blessed.

 

It's been quite a long while since I have written in this space. My intentions are always to write, but the timing doesn't always fit with my intentions.  

This past year has been a full one.
 We've had lots of laughs and a few tears.  Some good times and some bad.  There were struggles and there have been victories. All in all, it's been a good one.

 

I'm happy to be able to have a little time to myself today, so

 I thought I'd help myself catch up on where we are.

 

So, if you're interested, this is

  where we are...

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

Amber is now 22 years old. Wow!

 

She is in Romania. 

 

 She has been there with CTI (Cross Training International) for almost 5 months now. 

 She is truly living out God's voice over her life. 

He spoke to her a few years ago, after her first trip to Romania, that He would send her back to live there for a time. 

 It is a powerful thing to watch God's words, His very breath over her, being lived out.

I am amazed at her faithfulness to her Father. I am amazed at her bravery to answer His call on her life.

I am in awe of the woman she has become.
And her smile...just radiant. She is stunning.

I am a proud, proud momma.

 

She is living there with the Romanian Master's Commission team and other CTI team members. She is loving it! She is ministering each day to the lost and the hurting. Truly being the hands and feet of Jesus.  She is also teaching a Sunday school class each week to a group of young Romanian children.  She is teaching them English. Her heart for children is such a beautiful thing that has unfolded over the past few years. She has become an amazing leader to the XMC team there.

 

I miss her. Terribly. Like, sobbing ugly cry terribly.

Communication is not always easy. She is on a 9 hour time difference and the few hours of the day that we are awake at the same time, doesn't always guarantee that we will get to chat.  Her schedule keeps her busy and mine, well, it has been crazy at times.

 

  I miss her sweet voice.  I miss the opportunity to just pick up the phone anytime I want and hear it. It's a luxury that I will no longer take for granted. Time is short. Oceans are far and wide.

And this momma misses her girl.

 

She returns home during the middle of September.

Oh, what a happy day that will be!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 



Kaitlyn is now 18 years old.
She is in absolute beauty.

She graduated high school this past May.

 

She wowed the entire auditorium with her graduation speech.

She wowed me with her extreme courage to do it.

She was my first homeschool graduate. She has made the scary choice to homeschool, four years ago, worth every second. She was a phenomenal student.

 

As I type, Kaitlyn is boarding a plane to return home from Seattle.

She has been working for most of the summer, saving up for her college tuition.  She has been working with the Event Force team for Microsoft Corporation during the past month, which has kept her out of state in Florida and Washington.

 

This girl is something else. She is smart and brave and funny and simply loves life.

She has a genuine love for people and for serving the Lord. She wants to travel and disciple others. That just makes my heart so full.  It's refreshing to watch her grow into the world changer I knew she would always be.
 I get to be her momma. That's pretty awesome.

 

She is beginning to take the tiny steps to walk out on that branch and take the awaited leap out of the nest.  Her wings have been practicing their flight over the past few months.

She is ready and excited to move into her dorm/apartment and  start college in the Fall where she will attend XMC.

She will do great.  I see her nurturing all her roommates and cooking meals for them. She is a giver. Always has been.  I also see their apartment full of joy. Wherever she is, you'd better be sure there will be much laughter.

 

Me? Well, ya know... I'd say it gets easier the more children you let go of, but I'd be lying.

It is a beautiful, yet hard process. Sort of like labor.

The tearing away of their bodies from yours. But, this time, they take your heart with them. I'm working on getting used to the process. It's a good tearing away, but not an easy one.

 Maybe, when Isaac leaves home in 16 years or so, I'll be a pro at it. (Or maybe not.)

 

I look forward to hugging her neck later tonight when she gets home.

Her face and her laughter have been missed around the house.

They will be missed even more, come September.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mason is now 12 years old.

Or, as he says it, "practically 13".

 

 Out of all the kids, he has definitely changed the most.

 

He will be starting 8th grade in just a few short weeks.

 

In their group picture above, his face was all babyish and soft and still a little squishy.

 

Now?

Well, he has facial hair,  he's 5'7" and 197 pounds!

He grew into a young man overnight, I think.

 

His voice is changing, his face is maturing and he's passed his dad up in shoe size!

 

What the hoohah is happening here?

I was not prepared for this.

  I've watched my girls become young women, and now, I'm watching my sweet baby boy become a man. What a beautiful, yet heart wrenching sight.

He's just a baby!

(Well, he's my baby.)

 

He just returned yesterday from Tween Camp. He talked and talked and talked for the first 4 hours and then he just passed out, practically mid sentence, on the way home.  Camp tired. That's the best tired.

 

He told us last night over supper, that he was filled with the Holy Spirit during one of their evening chapel services. He said it was the weirdest and best feeling he's ever experienced.

 

I did good, y'all... holding back the tears, as he shared his life changing news in his newly deepening pubescent voice.
(I was freaking out on the inside with tears and joy and all that jazz!)

 

He's growing up...so, so fast.

 

My heart is trying to stay caught up with all of it.  I'm doing my best to flow with all of the changes going on with everyone.

 

Mason is a sweet, sweet young man. He's a good helper and a hard worker.

He's looking forward to his sister moving out in September, so that he can finally have the
"big room".

He's also looking forward to the day that he can grow a beard, like his dad.

I'm not ready for that.

Not. at. all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Isaac is almost 2 years old.

 

He is a busy toddler who insists that he should live outside...all of the time!
(Even though his momma is allergic to the planet. Thank you, Lord, for anthihistamines!)

 

He is talking really well and beginning to show his own little personality.

His giggle is possibly the best sound I have ever heard.

 It is extremely contagious. It's simply the best.

 

He loves shoes, our rooster "Popcorn", playing with his best friend, Ren, praying and saying "Amen" at every meal, and watching Curious George.  He gives the best hugs and recently learned to say, "I wuvv oo."

I. just. melt. like. buttah.

 

He has come so very far since a year ago, when he had heart surgery.

We've had a few of our 1 year checkups since surgery, and for the most part, he is in great health. He no longer has the symptoms he had before surgery and it has been a blessing watching him enjoy life without being sick.

 

His sensory issues are up and down.  We have some really good days for the most part, but when we have bad days, they are really rough...with a capital RROOOUUUGH!

God is teaching me much about myself and how to be a mother, during this season with Isaac.

Much, much.

You'd think since my oldest is 22, I'd have this mothering thing in the bag by now. Ummm, not exactly. God is showing me that my kids aren't the only ones that are growing, or that need to grow.

(But, that's for another blog post.)

 

We are, however, in the middle of new medical tests. He's had some mild, yet persistent symptoms, over the past 6 months or more. An abnormal test result revealed that he could have something serious going on.  We are awaiting results right now.  We have several doctors appointments for this coming week.  We are praying and praying to receive some answers soon, and of course, for a perfect healing in his little body.

 

Until then, I am taking in each moment and trying not to forget to breathe.

I am reminding myself that God has our best intentions in mind. He always has.

 

My husband said it best,

"God's in control. He always has been. I don't want to work against what He wants to do in us, so I've just learned to go with it. His control is better than mine has ever been."

 

So true. Such a wise man.

 

 

 

 

As for me and this handsome stud, we are approaching our 24th wedding anniversary.

(Geez, we are old!)

 

We are doing our best to hold onto this fast train that our kids have us on.

They are all such a delight and we've enjoyed every part of this ride with them. We are ready to have them all under the same roof again. That will be a very good day, indeed.

We look forward to the season ahead of us. We do our best to embrace everything as it comes and not take one moment for granted.

 

At times, we feel so undeserving of the life we get to live.

 

Who knew a girl from the projects and a Cajun boy from the bayou would end up so crazy and wonderfully blessed!

 

God has been so very good to us.


"At the end of the day, I have a life that's good."
 

 

These days, we are doing our best to stay connected with one another. Life, these past couple of years, has caused us to get into a continuous motion of survival. Situations, beyond our control, have blindsided us and knocked us out of wack a bit. Life will do that sometimes. It doesn't ask permission before it does. Stuff just comes.

In the midst of being tossed about, we have forgotten, at times, why we jumped on this crazy train in the first place.

All because we were deeply and passionately in love.

We just wanted to breathe each other in, all of the time.

We wanted to love and laugh with each other, forever.

 

"Through sickness and in health. Through good times and bad. Until death do we part."

 

We are working our way back to that place with one another and enjoying doing so.

I am thankful for God's strength that has kept us afloat. He is quick to grab us when we begin to sink. His hand definitely does uphold us.

 

Frankie is an extraordinary man and a great partner. He leads our family well.

He makes me laugh until I snort. I love him so very much. He's my boo.

 This journey would not be worth living without him.

 

 

So, folks, that is exactly ...where we are.

 

God continues to show me, that through it all, and wherever we are... He is there.

 He is there in the good, the bad, the easy, the struggle, the laughter, the tears, the failures, the victories and in the midst of all the changes.

 

It's the sweetest thing, seeing His love ebb and flow through every area of our lives.

 

Nothing goes unseen by Him and nothing is a surprise to Him.

 

He is always there, watching over us.

 

Where we are...He simply is.

 

 

Psalms 33:18

"But the Lord watches over all who honor Him and trust His kindness."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



When He leans.

 

Psalm 116:1-2
I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

 

 

Friends tell me all the time that I have what it takes to do this.

That God knew this sweet boy needed me. That he needed what only I could give him.

 

 

And each time I hear my friends say that...

I feel less than qualified.

 

In eight days, our little guy will undergo a major operation.

They will open his tiny little chest and repair an artery near his heart that has caused him more trouble than all of us expected.

 

And I wonder,

"How on earth am I prepared or qualified to handle this?"

 

I wonder, on some days, when I am so tired that I can't even remember the last time I bathed and sleeping becomes more important than eating, if God should have given this little angel to a twenty something-ball of energy-conquer the world-super girl...rather than me.

 

 

I question it...

where this invisible strength and ability that other people see stems from.

 

Your Grace abounds in deepest waters.

 

The past few days have been the hardest.

The questions I ask are the same but different.

"How do I do this, God? How do I hand my baby over to these doctors to perform this surgery? How?"
 

 

I try to wrap my mind around what is about to happen and I fall apart in tears at the drop of the smallest hat.

 

I'm in deep, real deep.

 

This is more than I can handle.

 

This is big, and I feel very small.

 

I wrote the struggle of this journey in a blog post a while back. It was at the beginning when we were just finding out about the health issues Isaac was having. At the time, all I could do was lean into God, because I felt my feet were failing me.

 

Around every corner they come...the tears.
They fall and they fall and I lean and I lean.

 The weakness takes over and I just want to fall over more and more.

I can barely feel my feet beneath me.
My heart is heavy.

 

That was almost seven months ago.

Since then, I have seen more than my momma's eyes and heart could imagine.

I have seen more needles poked into his soft fragile arms than I can count.

I have held him down screaming for the doctors to run test after test after test.

I have rocked a sick and tired baby for hours and hours and hours.
I have memorized the sound his heart beat makes as he has slept on my chest night after night.
I have laid my hands on his little body and prayed healing prayers until I have become breathless.

 

And today, as we finally have the answers we have searched for all these months, those feet...

have finally failed me and I feel as though I am falling flat on my face.

The energy to get back up...well, it's just not there.

 

My smallness gets even smaller.

 

But, that's when it happens...

The Leaning.

Not mine...but His.

 

 

Love that goes upward is worship;
 love that goes outward is affection;
 love that stoops is Grace.
~~Donald Grey Barnhouse

 

It's at the moment when I have collapsed in my weakness, that He leans into me.
  

As my chin falls to the floor, He lifts it up gently towards Him.

 

And He reminds me.

 

That He is all that I need.

That I don't have to be strong in every moment that comes.
That He is my help when I feel helpless.

Psalm 46:1
 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.

Within His touch, my smallness doesn't seem to matter anymore...because His greatness is all I see.

His presence is all I feel.

 

  I begin to weep and say His name Jesus, over and over with grief ridden breathlessness.
Then He leans in,
 He hears
 and He knows.
 He knows my heart is heavy, worried and overflowing with love for this little boy.
He knows that I feel unqualified, unprepared, and less than enough.

 

 Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
 

He leans toward me, whispers softly into my heart the reason why I am qualified for this journey...

"Because you are mine and you were made for this."

And just as Sarah laughed when the Angel of The Lord told her she'd have a child in her old age, just as I laughed when God spoke those words to me... I giggle under my breath...
"Oh, God, You must know something that I don't."


Then I am reminded of the suitcase that is packed in my bedroom and sitting in the baby's crib.
I see it in my mind, the mountain of clothes and necessities being packed to be away from home with Isaac as he undergoes cardiac surgery.

Then I remember something else...

I've had a bag packed for over 7 months now.
I keep it tucked away in my closet. It's a small overnight bag. It has a set of clean clothes, toiletries and pajamas inside. Everything I need for an emergency trip is in that small bag.
We've visited the hospital so many times in this little boy's life, that I have kept a bag packed just in case. Just in case.
I tried many times to unpack it, but I could never get myself to do it.

He shows me that this suitcase represents my preparedness. It represents my readiness to go where He leads me. Its size represents how small I feel up against this giant we are about to face. But, still in all, it carries what I need. I may not have known why I packed the bag or where I was going, but I was ready to go and had everything I needed already inside of it.

I had everything I needed already inside of it.

I have everything I need already inside of me.
It's been tucked away for such a time as this.
And even though I feel small, there is greatness on the inside of me.
I carry everything I need inside of me.

God is that greatness.

God is that everything.

He is everything.

John 15:9
"For without me you can do nothing."

As this revelation becomes clearer and clearer to me, He leans in closer...
"You have Me. I am enough. I am all you need."

 

He is strong enough to hold me when I can not stand.
He is strong enough to hold me.
He is strong enough.

 He is enough.

 

He leans even closer, and His voice resonates in my heart as He speaks life into this baby...
"You don't hand him to them. You hand him to Me. I am enough for you and I am enough for him."

 

 I see Him stretching His arms out for me to collapse into them.
  I feel the warmth of His embrace as my tears mingle together as they fall at His feet.
I see the love in His eyes as He becomes ALL that I need and more.
I hear the comfort in His voice as He reminds me who He is. Because today, right now, in this very moment...
I need Him to be all that He says He is.


Luke 18:27
"But He said, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God.'"

When He leans...I don't feel so small anymore,
because His greatness is on the inside of me.

  He is everything I need.

He is enough.


Psalm25:5
"Lead my by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you."



Please be in prayer with us as we approach Isaac's day of surgery and believe with us...
 that God is more than enough.



My friend Sam.

 

 

 

 

If you know me at all,

then you know I am an animal lover.

 

Except Racoons of course.

Bleckkk!

But that's a whole different blog post.

 

When I was little, I dreamed of being a Zookeeper and vowed to protect all of the animals of the world.

All of them.

 

Even though I didn't accomplish it, I think I came close.

 

I have 3 kids, 1 husband, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 1 kitten, 1 turtle, and 2 fish.

 

Yeah, I'm almost a Zookeeper.

 

Over the years we have housed and rescued countless dogs and cats.

 

Even though, I am allergic to both.

 

What can I say?

They just have a special place in my heart.

( I am very thankful for allergy meds!)

 

Which leads me to this guy, the handsome devil in the picture above.

The one that stirs my allergies up worse than a dust and mold storm.

(Apparently my love for him knows no boundaries.)

 

This is my friend Sam.

AKA Sambeaux.

AKA Poppa Sam.

 

He has graced our lives for almost 10 years now.

He is the pet that we have had the longest.

 

Ten years ago,

he trampled his cute little self onto a baseball field,

where my daughter was practicing baseball with her team.

My son, who was a little over one years old at the time,

scooped him up in his little arms,

brought him over to me, threw him in my lap,

and said,

"Hewe Momma."

 

That was it.

He's been in our family ever since.

 

He's been a faithful friend and companion to us.

He has survived two hurricanes, a separation and cuddled with me when I lost my Mom.

 

He is moody, yet lovable.

He is honory and stubborn, yet quite defined and proper.

 

He's a one man exterminator.

No bug, or mouse, or varment is safe in our house.

 

He is a brother to our children.

Yes, a brother.

 

My oldest daughter loves him so much, she calls him her husband.

Don't ask. It's complicated.

 

He sneaks into my bed each and every night,

 and lays his 20 pound self smack dab in the middle of me and my husband.

 He's quite the attention hog.

 

He is family. He is a loyal friend.

 

Call us silly. Call us crazy. But he has captured our heart.

 

We dearly love our Sam.

 

He spent last night away from us, at the Vet's office,

because he is sick and fighting for his life.

 

My heart is heavy for our big guy.

I am amazed at the tears I have cried over him the last two days.

 

I know he is just a cat to some,

but to us,

he is so much more than that.

 

I have to believe that God cares about the animals that we care about.

That even now, He hears our hearts cry.

 

Our family asks that you would say a prayer for our Sam.

 

If it be his time to go, then we pray that he go peacefully and with little pain.

 

But if it not be his time to go,

then we pray that his little spirit and body would grow stronger and stronger with each passing moment over the next day or so.

 

We pray for a miracle.

 

So that we could bring him home to us...

 where he belongs.

 

 

I appreciate you, friend, from the bottom of my heart.

 

Thank you.

 

 



I've never missed you as much as I do right now!

 

 

 

 

 

I woke up this morning and began my normal routine of stumbling blindly and half asleep to the coffee pot to make some "liquid gold".

 

I then turned on the computer to begin checking emails
 and walked down the hallway to wake the children so we could start our day.

 

About thirty minutes into our morning, the lights went out.

 

No electricity. Uuggh.

 

No electricity means no school work and we had a full agenda planned out for the day.

 

No worries. We shall do housework instead. This always makes me happy.

 

Except...

I noticed, as I began to clean,  that the water pressure was a little low.

I also noticed that the toilets girgled back at me when I flushed them.
Well that's weird.

 

Oh. no.

I got a bad feeling that this wasn't supposed to be happening.

 

I didn't worry about it and continued to pick up around the house.

 

About an hour and a half pass by, and "Alas!" our electricity turns back on.

 

Yippee! The schooling festivities can begin!

 

About this time, my husband calls.

He's working out of town for the week.

(insert sad face here)

 He called to see how things were going and if the electricity had turned back on or not.

 

I told him that it did in fact turn back on and mentioned that the water was acting funny.

 

To which he replies, "Oh, no."

 

To which I inquire, "What Oh, no?"

 

Realizing at that very moment what the "Oh, no" in fact means,

I say, gulping in fear,

 

"Oh. No!"

 

We live in the country and have our own water well.

 For some reason, unbeknownst to me,

each time our electricity turns off,
the water pump stops running and

we have to reprime our well.

 

This, my friend, is no easy task.

 My husband, my amazing husband, does it ALL the time,
without complaint.
 

But, where is my sweet husband, the problem solving-jack of all trades I married?

 

Not even in the state!

Oh! No!

My man has skills ya'll.
 He knows things that I didn't even know could be learned.
 He is so smart and intuitive and can do just about anything he sets his mind to do.

But, he's not here. It's just me.
 

I begin to panic, slowly.

Okay, more like rapidly.

So, my husband begins to tell me how to reprime the well.
Joy.

 

Let me just paint a picture for you...

 

I'm still in my pajamas.

Still sipping on a cup of coffee.

I hadn't brushed my hair

or my teeth

or had done anything else in the hygiene department at this point.

Those my friend, were my fashion plans for the day.

The whole day.

I'd hoped to get out of pajamas just to get into new ones later in the day.

That's it.

 

I hung up the phone and proceeded to get dressed to go outside and reprime the well.

 

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, because everyone knows it's just better to reprime a well, in the country, where nobody can see you...with your teeth brushed.

 

I turn on the faucet just in time to realize that now...

there is NO water.

None. Zilch. Notta. Not even a drop.

 

To which, I may or may not have shrieked in horror.

 

I then go outside to face the giant, AKA, the well.

 

Let me just interject right here,
 and say that I am not a wimpy diva-fied gal.

I'm not afraid of a little hard work or harsh conditions.

I love camping. I love the outdoors. I don't even mind sleeping in a tent if necessary.

I've helped my husband several times on his job,

 pushing wheel-barrels around filled with brick and mortar, going home with sand and dirt in places where...

well let's just say where there should NEVER be sand and dirt.

I've helped him remodel our house, enjoy working in the yard and completing projects around the house with him.

I can honestly say that I know my way around a tool box.

(We make a pretty great team.)

 

But today, I was alone and

I had no desire what-so-EVER to prove my wo-MAN-ly tough girl abilities.

None.

 

But, we had no water and we needed it. Badly.

 

Being that we did not have any water,

 I had to sneak over to the neighbor's house and borrow their water to reprime our well.

This meant I had to get our water hose and connect it to their water hose and then connect that hose to their water connection outside.

 

Seems fairly easy, right?

 

Wrong-O!

 

Their water connection did not have a knob to turn to open it,
so I had to get a crescent wrench to open the valve.

The only crescent wrench I could find belonged to our neighbor and it was all rusty and it wouldn't even budge to open.

I knew I needed to get the rust off and loosen it with some sort of greaser, and my husband had the WD40 in his work truck, which was out of the state!

So, I went inside and grabbed the Pam spray from the kitchen.

It worked!

 

It took a little while, but I finally got the wrench open and opened the water valve.

 

Then I proceeded to drag the water hoses to our yard and to our well.

 

Today was a really pretty day.
The sky was blue and the clouds were white and puffy like cotton.

 

But,

and I mean a big ole' BUT,

 there was wind.

 

Not a light relaxing breeze.

Wind.
Lots and lots of wind.

Hurricane force winds!

That's right. Hur! Ri! Cane!

 

My little guy came outside to help me and at one point he said,

"Mom, the wind is blowing so hard it feels like a tornado is going to fly out of the bushes at any moment!"

 

I'm not sure what he meant by fly out of the bushes, but you get the point.

 

It was strong!

 

It was also cold wind.  Freezing cold wind.

(Of course it was.)

 

Our yard was also sopping wet and muddy. It rained a monsoon last night.

(Of course it did.)

 

So there we were, me and my little guy, fighting the wind, the cold, and the mud.

Bleckkk!

 

After getting the water hose to the well, I called my husband for the rest of the directions.

 

I had to turn off the breaker to the well,  then unscrew two screws that opened valves and begin to put water in them to prime the well.

 

Easy right? Sure it is.

 

That is if I could only remember one simple thing.

 

I'm not sure what happened between getting the hose and the wrench and the wind and the cold and the not enough coffee and the no getting to brush my teeth and everything inbetween,

but I totally forgot something I have been teaching my children since they could talk.

 

Lefty loosey. Righty tighty.

 

Who doesn't know that?

 

Apparently I don't.

 

I tried for fifteen minutes straight to unscrew a screw the wrong way.

I swore to my husband, who asked me several times if I was turning it the right way, 

that I knew what I was doing.

 

But....ehemm...

ooops.

 

I finally unscrewed the screws to the valves,
poured the water in and finished the steps he told me,

word for word, step by step.

 

It was time to test it and see if I had done it correctly.

 

My son walks to the faucet, turns it on and...

no water.

 

I seriously thought for a few seconds,

"That's it. I'm done. We don't need water today. We can wait until he gets home."

 

Then I realized he wouldn't be home for several days.
Then I thought of the children.
Then I thought of me and my unhygiened self.

Nope, that won't do.

 

My husband then told me I would have to repeat the process all over again.

 

I. wanted. to. cry.

Like a tantrum, pre-school, three year old with an attitude cry.
 

By this time,

my hair was flying in my eyes from the wind,

my pants were soaked all the way up to my thighs,

my socks were soaked,

my shoes were so wet that they squished out water when I walked,

 I was cold and very aggravated.

I was spent. Simply spent.
I had been outside for an hour now, trying to get the water on.

 

My husband encouraged me on the phone to try it again,
"You can do it. Just try again. I know you can do this."
 

 

I did.

Without even thinking about it.
 I hurried through it without a thought and within 20 seconds,

I was done.

 

I walked over to the faucet, turned it on,

and there was water!!

 

Beautiful wonderful amazing clear water!
Woohooooo!!

 

My little guy started jumping up and down in our wet muddy yard, with his arms waving above him,

"We did it Mom! We made water!"

Oh man, it was such a great feeling!
 

I called my husband after I was finished.

He congratulated me for getting the well primed

 and told me how proud he was of me for not giving up.

I replied, 

"Thank you, but I've never missed you as much as I do right now!"

 

Today I realized, how much I appreciate him.
 

I don't want to ever take for granted how important my husband is.

He's not just the leader of our home, or the bread winner, or the muscle around the house.

 

At times...he's the lifeline that runs through it.

 

He's the one that keeps things working smoothly and the one that takes care of them when they don't.

 

He keeps our home safe and protected.

 

He does like the Father,

and keeps watch over our flock by day, and by night.
He stays up and watches over our house when the weather is bad.
He wakes the kids and brings them into our bed to keep them close to us. 

 

He prays for all of us. Every day.

He encourages me when I feel like giving up. He believes in me when I don't believe in myself.

 

He's that strong voice on the other end of the phone that gives me direction and comfort when I need it the most.

 

He has the heart of His Father.

 

He loves fearlessly.

He loves me. Oh, how he loves me.

I've never loved him as much as I do today.

I'm so thankful for God's hand on his life and ours.
I'm thankful that he chose my husband just for me, and just for our family.

(I'm really really glad he will be home in a couple of days!)
 

Thank you God for my sweet boy who helped me today.

Thank you God for water!

Thank you God for my amazing husband!
Thank you God for placing him as head of our home and guiding his steps along the way!
 

 

Thank You, Jesus, for being the Well that never runs dry.

 

Hug your husband today when he walks through the door from work.
Hold onto him for a while before letting go.
Tell him how much you value him as a person and as the leader of your home.
Tell him how much you appreciate all that he does.
Tell him how much you miss him when he is away.
Tell him you've never loved him as much as you do right now.

Love him fearlessly!


 

 Ephesians 5:22-24
 

 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

 

 



 

 

When the rain won't cease.

 

 

 

 

Isaiah 44:3
For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.


I sit here on my couch, wrapped in a blanket.
listening to the rain fall on our roof.

As it hits the tin on the porch,
it creates its own melody.

I wonder, after three solid days,
will this rain ever end?

I look out of the diamond shaped window on my front door
to see what looks like ocean front property.

Our grass is covered in a blanket of water and new drops come and splash it with every passing second.

I wonder...
will this rain ever end?


For the course of a year,
we felt the rain fall on our lives.

It seemed as though the storms were never ending.

The rain just kept beating against us, time and time again.

My job became unbearable and God spoke into my heart to walk away from it,
to leave the burden, and the money.

My job, the money, they had slowly become my security.

But, He was all I really needed.
I had to simply trust Him.

Within a few weeks a spiral of storms began to hit us.

Tension filled our home and we began to use our words as weapons to jab one another with.
Our kids felt the blow of every hate filled word.
They each slowly pulled away, in their own way, putting space between our feud and their hearts.

Because of my recent job loss, we had to move out of our home that we had known and loved for over two years.

It was big and roomy, a perfect fit for our family of five.

We began to rebuild another home,
one much smaller than the one we were in.

One that held old memories of other storms.
Storms we wanted to forget.

But, we simply trusted Him.

We began to move out of our new home and rebuild our old one,
all the while our oldest was graduating highschool and preparing to leave home for college.

Another storm I was not ready to face.

Then He whispered to me saying,
"You will not return to work and you will homeschool your children."

The rain poured down on me.

I prayed that I had somehow misunderstood Him.

"How could I do that? I'm not prepared for that", I tried to explain to Him.

The rain, it came again.

My husband left his job to pursue an old trade,
because we just weren't making ends meet.

Things began to slowly get better and we were adjusting to our new life.

The sun peaked its head out.
Its rays kissed my cheek.

But not for long...
because the rain came again.


My daughter left home for college and it took all I had 
to keep my head above the water pounding down on me.
The letting go was not so easy.
I felt as though I was losing everything.

But, I trusted Him.

The rain continued to pour down on us.

This time, coming in a storm that would forever change us.

My husband had a stroke...
at 38 years old.
His body was weak and in need of therapy.
This strong man who took care of our family, was broken physically.
It left us with no income for over 8 weeks.

This rain...
 came with howling wind and roaring thunder.

I thought the rain would never cease.

We prayed,
"We don't know how much more we can take Lord? But, we will trust You. We will trust you."

I just wanted the rain to stop.

But this storm...
it was different than the others.

The rain poured in with something new.
Its melody made a sound I had never heard before.

The wind blew in with strength and power,
yet its gentle hand touched our shoulder.

The Thunder spoke into our lives saying,
"I'm right here. This is a new day. I'm working things out for your good. All things will be made new."

My husband, he found his way to the Cross.
His body and soul began to heal.
We began to love eachother in a new and better way, bringing life back into our marriage.
Provision rained down on our family, coming from every direction.
Debt was paid off.
We were given new friendships that would strengthen and carry us.
Our family found healing and restoration.
We all stood together as one and praised Him.
Our security, was found in Him.
 Our home felt like home... for the first time in a very long time.

We felt God's grace kiss our face and shine ever so brightly on our lives.


Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.


With rain comes new growth.
With every drop comes the promise of new life.

We were living in the desert, trying to make it in our own wasteland.

But God, He wanted to bring us out of it.
His desire for us was so much greater than our own.

He had a plan to grow something new,
but it took some rain to grow it.

It took some storms to blow out the old,
 to make room for the newness He had for our family.

All of the storms were His greatness unfolding within our lives.
Bringing us to a place in Him and
making us realize how much we truly needed Him.

It gave us a greater Love for Him and one another.

He never brings a storm without fulfilling His promise.

Looking back now,
I can see that those months of rain,
those storms that seemed to never cease,
they were the best thing to hit our family.

Today we are stronger than ever before and it was all God's doing.
It was all Him.
It was His grace, so sufficient, rushing into our lives.

When it looks like the rain won't cease,
trust Him to bring something new from it.

Know that He is with you, and hasn't left you.
He stands in the rain with you.
What falls on you, falls on Him.
He will carry you through.

His grace is always more than enough.

He brings hope to a hopeless place.

Believe that He is working for your good,
and that He has a miracle waiting just for you.

His Grace will shine upon you and brighten up your life!


Job 9:10
We'll never comprehend all the great things He does;
His miracle-surprises can't be counted.


Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.



It was glorious!

 

 

 

 

  

Well,

the Christmas festivities have come to an end.

 

I spent the majority of the morning picking up the aftermath and

I have spent the rest of the day perfecting the art of laziness.

 

I must admit...I am a pretty good at it!

It's been glorious!

 

I blame today's laziness on yesterday's.

Apparently I didn't use all my lazy up so it rolled over into today.

 

Pure gloriousness!

(And yes, that is actually a word...I looked it up.)

 

Christmas Day was so very nice.

We did something we haven't done in over five years.

 

We stayed home all day!

 

All glorious day!

 

All. day.

 

Did I mention it was all day?

 

Because it was. All day.

 

It just makes me smile thinking about it.

 

I wore my pajamas all day!

 

I don't even think I brushed my hair,

in fact I know I didn't.

It was stinkin' great!

It was all matted and crazy looking all day.

 

All day!

 

Again...glorious.

 

We normally spend Christmas day elsewhere.

 

We wake up at "way too early thirty" and open all of our gifts.

Then we hurry up and get everyone bathed and dressed to be out the door by 11:00 to head to a relative's house for Christmas lunch and to spend the majority of the day.

We don't return until after dark and we are exhausted and way overstuffed with Christmas turkey.

 

Don't get me wrong...

that has been nice every year.

I love getting together for the holidays.

 

But, there is just something about staying home and doing nothing on Christmas Day.

 

Man,

it's nice.

 

We still woke up early to open gifts,

but it was after 7:00 am!

 

That's late for Christmas morning.

 

After opening our gifts and picking up the mess from it,

our oldest daughter read the 2nd chapter of Luke to all of us and my husband prayed over our day together.

 

It was such a sweet moment.

 

Then we moved around slowly and cooked our Christmas dinner,

which consisted of my husband's famous beef roast and potatoes (yum-my!),

yam casserole (also yummy!),

bowtie pasta with olive oil, garlic and basil (the yummiest!)

and some warm garlic bread.

Dessert consisted of cakeballs or whatever candy was in our stockings.

 

It was,

you guessed it...

glorious!

 

We played games with the kids, laughed at eachother's silliness and snacked around.

 

(I think they laughed at my hair once or twice, but I'm not positive.)

 

We ended the day with movies and more eating.

 

Glorious I tell ya...simply glorious!

 I caught myself several times looking all around at the kids playing and laughing together.
I would then look at my husband, and he was doing the same thing.
Then we would catch eachother's eye and just smile,
taking it all in.

It was just so great

to be just us...

all day.

 

I think we may have started a new tradition,

one that I could get very used to.

 

 

 

 

 



We all fall down.

 

 

  

Matthew 11:28-30

 Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find much rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.

 

 

 

I wrote a little blog the other day...

the one where I pretty much laid out my heart on the table for all to see.

 

I had my doubts, like I often do,

on the kind of response an honest blog like that would receive.

 

But, as I also often do,

I prayed.

 

I prayed that God would have His will with the post.

I prayed that He would send it to whoever needed to read it and go with it to cover them with His love in their time of need or suffering.

That it would bless someone.

Even only one.

 

I've been so overwhelmed with the positive responses from this blog post.

 

I have received emails, phone calls, text messages, facebook comments and private messages, and even my one very special comment here on the blog itself.

(I don't get many of those, but when I do...they mean the world to me!)

Several people even shared the post on their facebook wall and pinterest board.

"People bond more deeply over shared brokenness than they do over shared beliefs."
~Heather Kopp

 

I'm not at all giving myself credit here.

This was not me.

To be perfectly honest...

it was hard to pick myself up the other day.

Only by His grace was I able to get off the floor of despair.

 

This is all God's doing.

 

When I was in the midst of all of that hurt the other day,

 feeling beaten and knocked down emotionally,

I had one of two choices...

 

1. give up

or

2. keep moving

 

That's it.

I chose to keep moving forward because I heard God whispering in my ear to do so.

But, part of me didn't see an end to the mess.

 

 I prayed and pleaded with Him,

 

"Even though I am hurting God, and this situation is a huge mess,

I know that Your goodness will shine through. I know that you can turn this around for Your good. Take this cup Lord, because I can not do this without You."

 

When I began to receive all of the messages from friends and people I barely know,

I realized God was definitely working things out for His good.

He was doing exactly what I prayed for...
sending the post out to those who needed it and turning my mess into something beautiful.
He was touching their hearts as they read it.

He was turning my hurt around and using it to bless someone else.

Bringing beauty up out of the ashes of my despair.

I can't tell you how humbled I was by this.

 

It also showed me one very important thing...

 

we all fall down.

 

Most of the responses were from someone who was going through something similar that I was,

and desperately needed words of encouragement.

 

They didn't need to know the details of my situation either.

They just needed to know that someone feels the same way they do from time to time.

That someone else out there falls down from the blunt unexpected hit of life.

That when they get knocked down, there is hope of rising up.

 

They needed to know that we all fall down and need God.

 

One of my dearest friends filled up my facebook message box with encouraging scriptures.

(You know who you are...I love you!)

 

This one really spoke to me...

 

Hebrews 13:5-6 “

… God has said, ‘Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’”

 

He will never leave me.

He will never leave you.

 

He is our Helper.

The One whom we must scream out "Help!" to.

It is then that we hear His whisper,

"I haven't left you. I'm here, keep moving.  I will never leave you."

 

And sometimes,

He sends that help in the form of a person, a friend with an encouraging Word,

a hand to lift you up when you are down and the promise of Hope.

 

That is where God's grace is multiplied,

when we offer it to one another in love and encouragement.

 

And the enemy,

the one that thinks he's so slick...

will use another one of his old tricks to make you think that you are better off alone in your pain,

or that you can't help that person who needs to hear what your heart has to say to bring hope.

 

His plan is to break up the very thing God came to give us...

relationship.

Hope in Christ alone.

Intimacy with Him and one another.

 

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

 Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

 By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.

 

 

I found this yesterday on a blog I read,  and it also blessed me.  

It reminded me of how God has placed us all here together.

To fight the good fight!

 Side by side, arm in arm, hands clinched.

 

You don't pass by the fallen.

Don't pass by the fallen.
The Spirit that rose Him from the dead ...is in you... so you fall back.
You stop and you gather the workers.
You come alongside and you encourage the broken down...

You hold the space.
You make the call.
You bring the meal.
You hold the hand.
You smile sincere.
You pray the prayers they can't.

You pray the prayers they can't.
You hold up what can't stand any longer.
Because He loves relationship... and He often brings you as the Provision for someone else.
He brought you here.
It is all about something so much bigger than you... than them...
You push your shoulder into that space... and you hold it for them...so they can breathe.
~~A Seed Inspired

 

 

I am so thankful for each and every one of you and the sweet messages you have taken the time to send me over the past few days.

 

What a sweet reminder it was to me that we all fall down.

  

And when we do,

  God is there to pick us up.

  

Jonah 2:2

He said: "In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry."